47% Guy has 1000% of My Respect and Admiration

So, the hippy-fag-commie media has been abuzz the past couple of days with the news that the 47% guy has chosen to reveal himself. Yeah, I don’t blame it for being abuzz. I’m abuzz and agog and ahappy: Mitt Romney was brought low by a bartender–a hard-working member of the 47%.


So, the story is fairly extraordinary if you stop there. But the fact that this guy is so incredibly politically shrewd is what has stayed with me. He played this just right. He released the tape and let Romney’s words speak for themselves. The story never became a referendum on Scott Prouty, which is exactly what would have happened had he had a higher profile, or any profile at all. And as disappointed as I am that I have no idea whether he has granite countertops or not, I’m really really thankful he never put himself at the mercy of the wingnut media, which would have done its level best to make this man’s life a living hell.

I’m sure he’s getting death threats as I type this, and a part of me is wishing he’d never revealed himself. But, damn, since he has, I just wanna say “thanks.” Thanks for revealing Mitt Romney and his donors as the bubble-headed sociopaths they really are. Thank you for saving us from a Romney presidency. Because I really don’t think I could have afforded to participate in the mandated “Seersucker Suits and Polo Day”* activities. I don’t even know where to get a polo pony.

*For those smartass commenters who are bound to point out that–duh–I can get what I need at Seersucker and Polo Ponies Discount Emporium, let me just stop you: WE DON’T HAVE ANY IN RHODE ISLAND. So, bite me.

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Fareed Zakaria is “Centrist” Hack-scold: News at 11

Ugh.

Here are a couple of quotes from Fareed’s screed:

“The attacks are, I suppose, inevitable. But let’s be honest: They’re largely untrue or irrelevant.” [Imagine my face looking like “The Scream” now. Or even Macaulay Kulkin in “Home Alone“. Whatever works.] “Whatever the paperwork shows, Mitt Romney was not running Bain Capital after February 1999.”

Paperwork, schmaperwork, bitches! The exact opposite of what it says on paper is true. Nothing to see here. That Mittens might have benefited monetarily from Bain’s sleazy practices is of no importance. Move along. Hey, look at that other centrist douchebag–he’s scolding you too!

“Even if he had been, outsourcing jobs to lower a company’s costs — and ensure its survival — is not sleazy; it’s how you run a business efficiently.”

Yup, end of story, lazy American workers. This is a FACT. So shut up. Listen, I don’t pretend to be an expert in business, finance or economics. But I do think it’s entirely reasonable to rankle at the idea of jobs being shipped overseas. I’m not sure why Fareed dismisses the idea of offense being taken so cavalierly. Perhaps it’s because there’s no danger of his job being outsourced. It may be hard to find a centrist political hack who will write infuriating mushy-middle gibberish in China. So, whatever, Fareed. Your job is safe. But, yes, shipping jobs overseas is pretty goddamn sleazy. Here’s why, Fareed:

1.) It takes jobs away from Americans. Duh.

2.) It gives jobs low-paying– sometimes slave-wage-level— to foreigners. Let’s not pretend we’re conducting some grand, noble experiment. Big business wants cheap labor and it’ll do anything to get it. You can act as though offering these jobs to foreigners gives them a hand up to the middle class, and  in some cases it may actually do this, but what happened to AMERICA FIRST, guys? Really. Shouldn’t creating jobs for Americans take precedent? Or is hyper-patriotic whinging only appropriate when it’s used a bludgeon against Democrats?

I think that if we’re going to defiantly acknowledge that big business shipping jobs overseas is JUST GOOD BUSINESS SENSE, then I insist we stop referring the big business guys and rich folks as JAAHB KRIYATORS. Because, the contention that they’re creating jobs for Americans is flat-out untrue. And they and their defenders are admitting that.

–vacuumslayer

Sunday Funnies

I hear there’s some sort of thing going on today that involves feet and balls and bowls. But I say foo! Foo, I say! Have some Sunday funnies. It’ll cure what ails ya.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Money Talks – The Haves & the Soon-to-Haves
www.thedailyshow.com
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:407698
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Poor Pee-Ple
www.thedailyshow.com
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:407699
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Indecision 2012 – Mitt Romney on the Poor
www.thedailyshow.com
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:407591
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

BTW, how much am I relishing the butthurt of the forced-birthers in the wake of the Susan Komen reversal? This much: