What’s Wrong with this Picture?

If you have a gallery at dA or simply enjoy looking at art there, know that at some point during your browsing, you will end up going down a rabbit hole you didn’t want to go down. It just happens. You click on a piece of art you like and  then you see a picture you like less, and inevitably then you end up at a gallery that’s nothing but furry vore. It will happen. I do not search out this stuff, but sometimes it creeps in on my browsing (for art that I genuinely like) and then I’m stuck with the psychic scarring.

Today, I ended up at this spot, a gallery entirely devoted to removing the heads from sexually suggestive pictures of women.

Here’s his bio…be prepared to laugh:

I love cars, women, and having life

He loves women, y’all.

But you know what? It’s cool. Because:


Favorite TV shows: The Big Bang Theory

 

I can’t decide whether this is better or worse than the gallery entirely devoted to showing pictures of hanged women. I guess we can be thankful that this and the aforementioned fetish cannot be combined.

Question: Am I Drunk Enough to Troll Ted Nugent? Answer: Yes.

I know what you’re all thinking now, and I agree: Yeah, I’m pretty great.

The Zany Fart Sound-Making Nu Zoo Review Crew in the Mooning

A few quickie reviews…
Please take all my reviews with a grain of salt, as I have to watch most things with one eye on a toddler and may miss neat stuff.

1.) Prometheus. I liked it. It was flawed but fun. If you enjoy Sci-Fi spectacles with a creeping sense of dread and a scrappy, Ripley-esque heroine, you’ll enjoy this. It does, indeed, answer some questions, as the trailer promises, but it asks a lot more. That made the movie a teeny bit frustrating for me. If they don’t answer them in the sequel –which I’m assuming is in production– I may have to reevaluate the film.

2.) Rock of Ages. I imagine this musical is great fun on the stage. And Tom Cruise looks like he’s having a ball in this, chewing the scenery like a cow chews cud, as he plays hard-drinking jaded rock star/sex symbol Stacey Jaxx…but on film, the musical comes off very, very, very flat. It’s like, you sense you should be singing along and having fun and getting swept up…but you just never do. Grease it ain’t.

3.) American Horror Story: Asylum. Some people say that when you create a piece of art, there should be a place on the canvas where the eye can rest. A pleasing spot of nothing, negative space. If I have one complaint about American Horror Story–and I’m not sure I do, even–it’s that the series is almost completely devoid of negative space. But what may be its only flaw, may also be the thing that makes it brilliant. Because you are never given a chance to rest when watching. Ever. Every scene that is not creepy in the sense that most horror films are, is creepy in the way intense psychological dramas are. Like Stephen King, the writers of AHS want us to know that while there may be ghosts and demons and aliens milling about, the scariest thing on earth is the human mind. AHS seems to want to push boundaries and invite calls of “Campy!” by cramming exorcisms, demons, aliens, serial killers, cannibals, mean nuns and torturing doctors into one show, but so far, they are pulling it off. I don’t know how they do it. It may because they balance the border-pushing horror and raunchiness with exemplary acting and terrific writing. AHS is nothing less than must-watch for me. One important caveat: I would not recommend letting anyone under 17 watch it. I just wouldn’t. Mature audiences only, please.

Under Cover of Testes

I won’t spoil the surprise by explaining the joke. Google is your friend.

 

I’ve changed my online nym. Why? Well, I go by “vacuumslayer” at my online gallery, and I kinda wanna keep my art/personal life (because I sometimes share my art with friends and family) separate from my snarky, jerky unpaid Cheetos-covered blogger political pundit persona. If I’m going to run for town council of Bumfuck Bluffs, I can’t have oppo research finding out I have a filthy mouth and I have jokingly flirted with liberal heathens. It would just be terrible for my image. But really? I was just ready for a change. I’d had “vacuumslayer” for nearly a decade. I was kinda bored with it. Say “hello” to Dr.KennethNoisewater.

 

 

That’s What She Said

I think everyone who reads my blog on a regular basis knows that I watch soaps. And when it was not as much a dying genre, I was pretty serious about “my stories.”  What you may not know is that roughly a decade ago, I wrote a couple of letters to the powers that be at “The Bold and Beautiful.” Now, that’s fandom! Anyway, apparently they were pretty impactful because one of the co-creators of the show called me to discuss my letters. Twice. Which is neat, in a way. But I think it was around that time that I realized that enjoying a show should not take that much work. See, B&B had been going downhill for awhile and the show’s executive producer and head writer seemed bound and determined to make it the shittiest, most misogynistic soap on the air. The target of the show’s misogyny was always fan favorite, Brooke. A lot of us Brooke fans took issue with this. So we often met up online–via email and message boards– to campaign for better storylines and love interests for her. It was constant. It was letter-writing. It was posting on the official message board. It was voting in polls. But often we would say privately “Should getting this show to be watchable be this hard?”

Obama: the Brooke Logan (the one getting crap slapped out of her) of politics

Which brings me to the election. How is this race even close? We had one candidate tell half the country that they were lazy moochers. How is this race not 90%-10% in favor of Obama?

I recently read a terrifically smart comment at BJ, summing up the situation with this astute analogy: Living in the US is like living in an apartment complex where one half of its tenants are constantly trying to burn the building down. Doesn’t that just say it all? And it’s so true. One half of this country is comprised of firebugs. But I can’t tell if they’re arsonists or if they just start the fires while trying to light their farts. Are Americans actively malicious, dumb or just apathetic? I don’t know. All I know that is trying to keep this country from burning to the ground shouldn’t be this hard.

Random Music Friday: Cotton Candy Edition

One thing that I think goes largely unmentioned when things like this are discovered at Republican rallies (and they almost always do make an appearance somewhere whenever bitter, dumb conservatives gather) is that folks like this are allowed to stay. There is no one pointing disgustedly at him. There is no one ushering him out of the rally. He’s standing there, unmolested. If I were a cynical person–and, GOLLY, I’m nothing of the kind–I’d think that a lot of people at Romney rallies agree with that sentiment…deep down. Of course, most Republicans aren’t that deep, sooooooooooo…

Anyway, since I drink in politics like I drink your milkshake, I’m pretty bummed about the election. That it’s even close doesn’t just surprise me, it disgusts me. There sure are a lot of dumb white people in this country. I’m happy that I’m going to live to see many, many of them die off.

But let’s not worry our pretty little heads about such things now. Let’s just lose ourselves in mindless, cotton-candy music.

Now, isn’t that better?

Random silliness…

More than Famous

Here is an excerpt from an email tacky, nouveau riche slum lord, David Siegel sent to employees:

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, as our current President plans, I will have no choice but to reduce the size of this company.

Coal man and climate change denier, Richard Murray sent out this:

“We have only a little over a month left to go in this election fight. If we do not win it, the coal industry will be eliminated and so will your job, if you want to remain in this indust

Uber-capitalist muppets, the Koch Brothers sent an email containing this…to their 45,000 employees:

While we are typically told before each Presidential election that it is important and historic, I believe the upcoming election will determine what kind of America future generations will inherit.

If we elect candidates who want to spend hundreds of billions in borrowed money on costly new subsidies for a few favored cronies, put unprecedented regulatory burdens on businesses, prevent or delay important new construction projects, and excessively hinder free trade, then many of our more than 50,000 U.S. employees and contractors may suffer the consequences, including higher gasoline prices, runaway inflation, and other ills.

This is coercion, plain and simple. This is straight-up forcing employees to vote for your candidate of choice because you just have to have that second yacht.

Richard Lacks is another craven CEO practically demanding that employees vote for Romney.

Can you imagine the hue and cry if there were businesses out there demanding folks vote for Obama? Good lord, you’d lose an eardrum from the deafening roars of “ISLAMOCOMMUSOCIALIST!!!!!!!! SOSHALIZM!!!!! COMMUNIZM!!!!!!!!!! JACK-BOOTED THUGZ!!!!!!”

Well, turnabout is fair play…and this sounds like straight-up fascism to me. So I assume these fuckwads won’t mind if I refer to them as Nazis.

Let’s make these Nazis famous. No, not just famous, INfamous.

OMG, LOOK AT HOW FUCKING GROSS AND TACKY THESE PEOPLE ARE.  Somebody fetch me my guillotine.

Presents for me, Smut? I'll give you present.

Today in dumb gender essentialism. It’s not the article that offends me (though it makes me grit my teeth a bit, and not just because I have a great arm). It’s comments that make me weep for society.

I Can Spare a Chair

It wouldn’t be Politwit (formerly known as Super Karate Monkey Something Something) if I didn’t comment on a news item so old that it has ceased to be news…

I was a little heartsick when I learned that Clint Eastwood was going to speak at the RNC. I was scared he was going to do a repeat of his “Halftime in America” performance, which was incredibly powerful and made even cranky asshole cynic like me feel a little hopeful and patriotic for a millisecond. I was also bummed because I’ve always liked Clint. Never knew much about his politics, and didn’t particularly care what they were. But he always seemed like a genial, likable guy to me. Sure he was a mediocre director and bad actor, but he was icon, dammit. And, I don’t know…I’ve just always gotten a kick out of him. So, when I heard he was going to speak for the the Republicans, I didn’t feel a lot anger. More hurt. I was hurt.

Then I saw snippets of his performance. He seemed sort of doddering and undignified, and I’d never seen him look like that before. It’s like when you realize Grandpa’s losing his mind; it’s sad. In fact, it was so spectacularly bizarre and unsuccessful, I wondered if he weren’t punking his audience.

Clint’s a wily old bastard. He said of his RNC appearance “Mission Accomplished.”(:O I’ll give you a second to let that marinate.) Which I figured you can take one of three ways, two of them not being exactly Republican-friendly. What’s going on in that head of yours, Clint?

Sad: I Haz It

Occasionally I make the mistake of looking at WordPress’ “Best of the Freshly Pressed” page, where supposedly laudable, stand-out blogs are highlighted. I compound the mistake by clicking links. And I happen upon shit like this. Corny drivel that basically boils down to “pity men because BONERZ and the fact that we can’t constantly be sticking them in hot women.” And the slavish praise of the commenters…it makes me want to weep. (BTW, one commenter basically does come right out and say women are lucky because they’re valued primarily for their looks and he’s butthurt he can’t bone Kiera Knightly.) I mean…it leaves one breathless.

The author seems nice enough…just extremely privileged and very very misguided.