Let Us Be Assholes: It’s Civil Rights!

In keeping with my tradition of only discussing pop culture phenomenons after they’ve ceased to be relevant, here is my take on 2011’s “Bridesmaids.”

Bridesmaids” was nothing less than a revelation for me because by the time it came out, I was convinced that women would never be allowed to be funny in movies again. Sure they were allowed to be funny on TV occasionally. Sure, Leslie Mann was allowed to steal scenes in her husband, Judd Apataow’s, films. But beyond that, it seemed like Hollywood comedies were destined to be one sausage party after another. I hadn’t seen a comedy where women were featured prominently since “Romy and Michelle’s Highschool Reunion” and “Superstar,” which was made in 1999.

Is “Bridesmaids” the funniest movie ever made? Probably not. But it is incredibly funny and hugely important. Here’s why:

  • It’s women! Women, women everywhere! Being funny! (It should be noted the two men in the film–Chris O’Dowd and Jon Hamm– are also superb and superbly funny.)
  • More importantly it’s women being funny, gross, immature, and assholish. I wanted to write about why this film was so dear to me awhile back, but couldn’t seem to find the time. All I knew was I wanted to title the entry “Let Us Be Assholes.” Because, let’s face it, a major component of comedy is enjoying neurotic idiocy, awkward moments, and even the occasional gross-out moment. And there seemed to be precious few vehicles where women were allowed to be, well, um, gross assholes. In “Bridesmaids” Kristen Wiig’s character, Annie, is at turns goofy, petulant, obnoxious, selfish, and yeah, assholish. IT. IS. AWESOME. Because it’s funny.
  • Melissa McCarthy plays a woman doesn’t wear a whole lot of make-up and is kinda butch. And the joke is not “Ha  ha!!!! Look at the fat woman who’s not conforming to beauty norms!!!” The joke is, “Hey, look at the fat woman who’s not conforming to beauty norms, is a little butch, is highly successful, is a great friend, and is sexually successful!” And is scene-stealingly hilarious. Seriously, if you can’t gin up a reason to pop in or stream this movie, do it for Melissa McCarthy alone, because I don’t think there’s any use in pretending she’s not currently one of the funniest people on the planet.
  • Did I mention the women are funny? Well, they are. Even the women who are dealing with the material that’s not broad. Like many comedies “Bridesmaids” gets better the more you watch it. And when you watch it several times, you start to search out the smaller nuggets of comedy gold. Rose Byrne’s performance is one of those nuggets. She is subtly hilarious as the perfect, beautiful trophy wife and friend-thief, Helen. The scene where Annie tries to get her ex’s attention by driving like an idiot only gets funnier if you pay attention to what Helen is doing in the background.
  • The film is called “Bridesmaids,” but it’s not about dream weddings. It’s not about longing for love. It’s not about men. It’s about friendship, and how sometimes we treat good friends like lovers. We get jealous, we get possessive. I think everyone who has ever had a really good friend has had a moment where we’ve felt anxious about letting a new friend of a friend into our life. That dynamic is silly with comedy gold and I’m glad somebody finally decided to mine it. Really, watching Annie flip out over best friend’s new friend is not just incredibly funny, it’s incredibly relatable.

And, thank goddess almighty it’s not ALL ABOUT THE MENZ.

FANTASTIC DANCING UPDATE:

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What’s Wrong with this Picture?

If you have a gallery at dA or simply enjoy looking at art there, know that at some point during your browsing, you will end up going down a rabbit hole you didn’t want to go down. It just happens. You click on a piece of art you like and  then you see a picture you like less, and inevitably then you end up at a gallery that’s nothing but furry vore. It will happen. I do not search out this stuff, but sometimes it creeps in on my browsing (for art that I genuinely like) and then I’m stuck with the psychic scarring.

Today, I ended up at this spot, a gallery entirely devoted to removing the heads from sexually suggestive pictures of women.

Here’s his bio…be prepared to laugh:

I love cars, women, and having life

He loves women, y’all.

But you know what? It’s cool. Because:


Favorite TV shows: The Big Bang Theory

 

I can’t decide whether this is better or worse than the gallery entirely devoted to showing pictures of hanged women. I guess we can be thankful that this and the aforementioned fetish cannot be combined.

Is It OK to Say a Movie is Boring?

The great thing about twitter conversations is that there’s no need to shorthand them. Here’s a quick, easy read wherein a really nice guy in my twitter feed says he was bored by “Blade Runner.” Which kinda shocked and thrilled me, because even though I think “Blade Runner “is stunningly gorgeous and impactful, I also think it’s pretty flawed. (Although decidedly not boring.)

“The Masterbat0r” is more like it. But, to be fair, those two lingering shots of the boat waves really helped to advance the plot. 

I find that most people demure when it comes to the subject of movie-induced boredom, especially when discussing critically-acclaimed films, and I’m not sure that’s a healthy impulse. Some films–even films with a lot of merit– are just boring, and I think it should be ok to say so. What do you think?

Mansplainers and Novelty Girls and Trolls–Oh My!

This LGM thread got predictably and amusingly out-of-control. See if you can spot the mansplainers, novelty girls and trolls. Fun for the whole family!

My take? I read Adria’s account and found her case fairly compelling. Earlier that very day, she’d had an encounter with a man making a n (undeniably, inexcusable) sexually-charged crack. By the time the jokers behind her started making their dick jokes,  it’s clear she’d had it with the dudebro tenor of the conference, and decided to do something about it. It’s understandable, at least to me.

That being said, I find the firings fairly appalling. None of these offenses strike me as fireable offenses…at all. I’m sorry the one dudebro lost his job. That sucks ass, and I wish him well.

True Conversations

(Approximate) Conversation with hubby:

Hubby: Why did the RNC choose Reince Priebus?

Me: I don’t know. He’s awful.

Hubby: Do Wisconsinites really sound like that?

Me: I think so.

Hubby: So all Wisconsinites sound drunk?

I don’t know.

 

Happy Belated Drunk Irish People Day.
smilingnotirish

I had a party. No Irish people were invited.

 

 

47% Guy has 1000% of My Respect and Admiration

So, the hippy-fag-commie media has been abuzz the past couple of days with the news that the 47% guy has chosen to reveal himself. Yeah, I don’t blame it for being abuzz. I’m abuzz and agog and ahappy: Mitt Romney was brought low by a bartender–a hard-working member of the 47%.


So, the story is fairly extraordinary if you stop there. But the fact that this guy is so incredibly politically shrewd is what has stayed with me. He played this just right. He released the tape and let Romney’s words speak for themselves. The story never became a referendum on Scott Prouty, which is exactly what would have happened had he had a higher profile, or any profile at all. And as disappointed as I am that I have no idea whether he has granite countertops or not, I’m really really thankful he never put himself at the mercy of the wingnut media, which would have done its level best to make this man’s life a living hell.

I’m sure he’s getting death threats as I type this, and a part of me is wishing he’d never revealed himself. But, damn, since he has, I just wanna say “thanks.” Thanks for revealing Mitt Romney and his donors as the bubble-headed sociopaths they really are. Thank you for saving us from a Romney presidency. Because I really don’t think I could have afforded to participate in the mandated “Seersucker Suits and Polo Day”* activities. I don’t even know where to get a polo pony.

*For those smartass commenters who are bound to point out that–duh–I can get what I need at Seersucker and Polo Ponies Discount Emporium, let me just stop you: WE DON’T HAVE ANY IN RHODE ISLAND. So, bite me.

R.I.P., Davide

The new lady cast members of SNL are pretty undeniably awesome. Here is some proof. For whatever reason, this sketch amuses me to no end.

It’s Friday night. Let’s shake out the sillies!

What are you doing/watching/listening to/reading/cooking?

Oh…PS…this video is sideways because NBC is fascist.

Marshall Law. Martian Law. Marsmallow Law. Jude Law.

Welcome to the grand re-re-re-opening of SKMD. My experiment with depending on other mediums to serve as outlets for my silliness FAILYULD. tumblr doesn’t have a comment system, which is tremendously unsatisfying, and twitter–unless you have a lot of followers who actually give a shit about how INCREDIBLY FUNNY AND TALENTED you are– is basically just like talking to yourself out loud. And that’s something I can do on any street corner.

So, I’m back. Maybe not often. But I need a place to shake out the sillies. I need a place to document funny things, silly things, outrageous things, and all the beautiful thoughts in my beautiful mind (except the stuff about hobo sex; that’s personal). And SKMD is probably the only good place for that.

Here’s something I’ve been obsessing over the past couple days. It’s a wingnut who got his PhD in Goofy Consipiracy Theories.

Obama signed an executive order right before the SOTU.

1. Attack the internet
2. Blame an enemy (China, Iran, N. Korea, right wing etc)
3. Take control of the internet
4. Then a major false flag attack on a city or infrastructure
5. Shut down internet
6. Marshall law

Now, orange you glad I’m back? Would you really want to be going about your day, not knowing about the imminent threat of Obama’s secret Internet attack/False flag/Marshall law plan? No, of course you wouldn’t. My readers are not sheeple!

Curried Beef and Butternut Squash Stew and Asteroids. No, Not Together.

What’s going on in the webosphere? Well, people are being assholes. That’s no surprise. And people are being almost endearingly naive, which is just kind of weird and pathetic. And people are cooking delicious food…which should make the first two things seem less obnoxious, if this post works the way I hope it will.

You have to wonder about  a man who would dedicate this much time and effort to being a petty asshole. Apparently, some people get really really really upset if you happen to notice that there is a lack of diversity on a conference panel. I assume these people are similarly nonplussed by the idea of panel containing no white men.

I have discussed Jonathan Haidt here before. Well, not discussed, really-lambasted. I don’t think he’s a horrible person, just a little misguided, a little blinded by his own privilege and, well, just plain wrong about a lot of stuff. That being said, this website doesn’t make me angry; it makes me sad. I think the idea of conservatives (which, if we’re honest, usually translates to “wingnut” nowadays) and liberals getting together to discuss the issues of the day is certainly interesting. But we’re really at the point that we don’t even agree on what the issues are. Put it this way– Haidt says some of the issues of the day are:

Liberal Asteroids
Conservative Asteroids

I mean, I’ll be honest, the “conservative” asteroids don’t impress me much; they’re certainly not “asteroids” for me. And as to the liberals asteroids, I think it’s safe to say that most conservatives a.) don’t believe in climate change and b.) don’t give a shit about inequality. So where does that leave us? Well, I’d say it leaves us with Asteroid Clubs that are really, really tiny.

Are you ready for stew yet? Here’s one from my own beautiful mind: Curried Beef and Butternut Squash Stew

Ingredients:

  • 1- 1 1/2 lb. stew beef
  • 2 mediums onions, cut into 1 inch pieces
  • 1/2 large butternut squash, cut into 1 inch pieces
  • 2 medium russet or Yukon Gold potatoes, cut into 1 inch pieces
  • 1 quart beef stock
  • 2-3 tablespoons mango chutney (Adjust according to your tastes; if you like a tad more more sweetness, add more. If you prefer less sweetness in a savory dish, add less.)
  • 1-3 tablespoons Indian curry powder (Adjust according to your tastes; if your blend is particularly pungent or spicy, add less. If it very mild–like mine–add more.)
  • 1/2  14 oz. can fire- roasted (or plain) diced tomatoes
  • 1/2 cup cilantro, rough-chopped
  • 1 large clove garlic, minced
  • flour
  • olive or veggie oil

Directions:

  1. Heat 1-2 tbsp. oil in dutch oven or stock pot. While the oil gets to a med-high temperature, toss beef cubes with a generous amount of flour, salt and pepper.
  2. Brown coated beef in hot oil. (The amount of flour will make for some pretty dark fond; don’t be scared, just get your other ingredients ready to add to the pot.)
  3. When the beef gets a nice and brown on a side or two, remove it from the pot and set aside.
  4. Add some more oil along with the onion, curry powder and a generous sprinkling of salt and pepper to the pot and stir, trying get up as much of the beef and flour fond off the bottom of the pot. Add a few tbsps of water, if necessary. Saute onions until they begin to soften and become translucent. Add garlic and cook until fragrant–about 30 seconds.
  5. Add the beef back to the pot.If you would like to add the potatoes and squash to the stew now–as I did–you can. They will get quite tender and even melt into the stew a bit. I think this improves the texture of the stew, making it rich and creamy. But if you prefer your veggies to have more tooth, add them when there is about a half hour left of cooking time.
  6. Add the broth, tomatoes and chutney. Cover and cook stew over LOW heat for 1 1/2 -2 hours, until the beef gets tender. I like to leave the lid off the stew or leave it askew to let some of the water evaporate and concentrate flavors.
  7. When stew is done cooking, stir in cilantro.

Now, don’t you feel better?