Once upon a time, in a faraway waterworld called Bathtubia, there lived a King named Evansbee. His kingdom was inhabited by all sorts of little, colorful animals.
Many thought because of his beguiling good looks that he was a kind king, but he was not. He was a fickle and ruthless ruler, who often showed great favor to some of his animal subjects…while treating others with bewildering cruelty or neglect.
He very much liked Mr. Gill, The Bluefish, and Mr. Prince Froggy of the Pond Crosstheway, too. But his favorite subject by far was Nedly B., the Polar Bear.
While many of his subjects were left to prune and tread water, King Evansbee made sure to give special attention to his favorite animals, often lifting them up out of the water and onto the dry, high cliffs near his throne.
He even offered his favorite, Nedly B., a life preserver, he was so enamored of his shiny, white friend. “You make me smile…and splash wildly, in a silly manner” said King Evansbee.
Which seems well and good, until you consider how he treated the poor peasant Hippo, whom he considered too proud and garishly-colored. “You are orange. This color displeases me. Plus, you have a huge ass. Feel my wrath.”
And so he ate him. “I find you rubbery!” screamed the King.
And his mother did not help or encourage him at all.
Also, everything turned out all right for the Nedly guy.