Supersize My Abortion

Kevin Williamson, Internet-famous for writing a couple of screeds about about women being money-hungry, status-seeking hoors and little else, temporarily removed Mitt Romney’s penis from his mouth and stopped fapping to his Romney/Ryan slashfic so he could appear on “Up.” There he used a phrase I would like to douse in gasoline and burn atop the ash heap of history. The phrase is “abortion on demand,” and its inanity is nothing less than breathtaking.

It’s a favorite of the wingnut world, and if you hear a person use it, recognize it for the red flag that it is. It’s meant to imply that abortion is crudely common and that the women who have abortion are crude and common. They want you to picture some mangy-looking broad in hotpants and a tube top sauntering up to a counter and saying “Gimme the fish fillet sandwich, a large Coke and an abortion. Oh, and super-size it.” A lot women have abortions. A lot of women have them for convenience. But none of them have them for fun. But because making women who have abortions into caricatures is the only way to win the debate over reproductive rights, wingnuts will double down on this stereotype: women who have abortions are just lazy, irresponsible sluts who have no regard for human life.

The phrase is also comically inept because it implies that abortions could happen in a manner that does not involve “demand” in some form. I mean, I’m sure forced abortion is a thing (and the idea of it disgusts me), but I’m guessing it’s stunningly rare (especially in this country). Unless the morons who use this phrase are simply put out that some women have not asked politely for their abortions. None of this ON DEMAND stuff. I’m suddenly picturing thousands of women plunking some money on a counter and screaming “GIVE ME MY LAVENDER-SCENTED RELAXATION ABORTION  NOW, BITCHES! AND SUPER-SIZE IT!”

For the record, I’ve searched and searched for Abortion on my cable’s On Demand menu, and I have never found it.

I mean, at some point, women will have to communicate the wish to have to an abortion (if they desire one), and this communication will be either verbal, signed or written. Because how else will women demand their “Bella and Edward Vampire-Human Hybrid No Workee So Good Commemorative Abortion’?* Then again, a decent woman might send her request via carrier pigeon. It’s more proper.

*available only at participating Happy Good Funtime Abortions and Tanning


17 thoughts on “Supersize My Abortion

  1. GOP Culture wars: distracting the rubes from the plutocrat hands picking their pockets for XX decades (I was going to use 5, but maybe it’s more).

  2. There he used a phrase I would like to douse in gasoline and burn atop the ash heap of history
    i would like to take it one step further and douse the espouser of this phrase in gasoline and burn atop the ash heap of history…

  3. Recently I heard a radio host (Larry O’Connor, who’s been filling in on right wing talk in PhillY) complain, in regards to l’affaire Akin, that “How come no one ever asked Obama how he feels about an eight months pregnant woman suddenly deciding she doesn’t want to be pregnant anymore and gets an abortion?” Now, O’Connor has two kids and claims to still be married, so I think he’s aware of what happens when a woman carries a baby full to term. And I’m pretty sure if he actually looked, he would find zero incidence of that. And I’d like to think his wife hates his guts.

  4. Eh, though I support abortion on demand, I can see how some people could be philosophically troubled by it. While I’m generally wary of meeting such people partway, if it takes abortion off the table as an issue, I could be pursuaded. How about instead of the “on demand” status quo, we adopt a framework that retains easy access to abortion in the first trimester, but increases the legal scrutiny as the pregnancy progresses? I’m sure Mr. Williamson and his ilk would have no problem with such a compromise.

    • Eh, why don’t we leave the decision up to women, being as they are the ones whose lives, bodies, and economic viability will be at risk? Unless we don’t trust women to make decisions about their own lives, bodies and economic welfare, I mean.

      • Eh, I really hoped that the fact that my “compromise” actually described Roe v. Wade would be sufficiently obvious. In the future, I’ll try to remember to include <sarcasm> tags.

  5. Well done. Yes, “abortion on demand” is just another way for conservatives to say “uppity.” There’s also the familiar lie that conservatives are only pursuing privilege over others because they haven’t been asked to stop nicely enough.

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