Sage Me, Please

I started reading an article in The Boston Globe this morning. Then I began skimming it. Then I put the paper down with shaking hands an overwhelming desire to drink myself into a coma. It was about an international network child predators. Two things leave me wondering why we don’t cut the genitals off these abusers/exploiters/pornographers/perverts:

1.) They glee they took in child rape and torture and putting one over the parents of these victims. Said in reference to toddlers: “These parents–especially the daddies–have no idea how sexy their boys are.”

2.) The article highlighted the victimization of children as young 1. There are message boards these baby rapers frequent dedicated to things like “super-hardcore”.

It makes me want to die. Or kill. Why do people like this still have their genitals?

I’m sorry I’m dumping this on you, readers. When my dog died, I did not feel right until I dumped a bunch of stuff on my father. I had to barf up all my sadness. I’m sorry I am barfing my disgust with the world on you.

In much happier, more lovely news, I was wondering if any of you could identify this. It’s growing right by my front porch and it sure reminds me an awful lot of sage. IS it sage?

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11 thoughts on “Sage Me, Please

    • I really felt like I was gonna crack up this morning, but I’m doing better now. Heroin’s way way way out of my comfort range. But I might’ve said “fuck it” this morning.

  1. The ruffled margins of the leaves look more like some manner of mint to me (I know the sages are in the mint family too, but in the genus salvia rather than mentha). Apple mint maybe?

    I’m askeert–what if it’s poisonous?
    You can always buy a new liver.

  2. It’s in the lamiaceae, the broader mint family, anyway — mints & sages & thyme & catmint — the square-cross-section stems in your foteau are the giveaway. And I don’t think any of them are particularly toxic.

  3. You should go to a nursery or supermarket, buy some sage, and do a close comparison. For a small outlay of cashola, you can avoid poisoning yourself and possibly gain access to the mother lode of sage. Sage tends to have a “pebbly” texture to the leaves, as well as that indescribable smell.

    Oh, and that pedophile thing really makes me want to break someone’s nose.

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