Things to Do When You are a Bourgeois Suburban Person

Just smile for the camera and the crazy lady won’t hurt anybody.

1.) Go to Buffalo Wild Wings, a “restaurant” that has the distinction of being named for the food it makes taste most disgusting. Seriously, their wings are inedible (to me).
2.) Play trivia.
4.) Take a blurry photo that makes your son look like he is being held hostage by a crazy smiling lady.
5.) Post it to Facebook, because apparently you’ve become one of those people who likes to notify people of your bowel movements and other things you do that are nearly as interesting.
6.) Buy rompers at Babies ‘R’ Us. Wonder why all the fucking size 5 boys shoes are sold out. Start tearing up the store, knocking displays over and screaming “Missing shoe stock is the hobgoblin of liberal fascism!*”
7.) Go home and drink wine.

Good stuff!

*Events may have been exaggerated or even completely made up, for dramatic effect.


It’s Random Music Saturday, so share some music, if you’d like!

Lately I’ve been wondering about my 4 and 5-star rated songs. I’m fairly stingy with 5’s, and I wonder why that is. I think it may come down the fact that songs rated with 5 stars are songs that I literally will never tire of. Of course, that doesn’t preclude 4-star songs from getting promotions. 😉


A 5-star:


30 thoughts on “Things to Do When You are a Bourgeois Suburban Person

  1. It’s funny how few chain restaurants I patronize. Most of our casual restaurants are small mom-and-pop operations. I think we had so many independent pizzerias and Chinese takeout places that fast-food chains really never took off in a big way. We’ve got them, to be sure, but only on certain of the main commercial drags.

  2. I’m one of “those Mom’s” that tears a store apart looking for something cute in my kids size.
    Damn I hate it when apparently everyone in town has a child that takes the exact same size as mine to…. 😉


    • And boys stuff always sells out so fast, because everyone makes cute stuff for girls, so parents pounce on anything ultra-cute for boys. It makes me seethe. Hell, that’s why I shop online.

  3. Here in the big city, in literally the last three & a half hrs. I attended a cultural event, shopped at a store across the street from the vacant lot where the cultural event occurred, & made it home in time to catch the end of the ball game on the telly. And all on public transit, ‘though I could have walked.

    Suburbanites have my pitysympathy.

  4. That Photo reminds of what Tom Servo would say anytime there was a really tight closeup “AHH I’M TRAPPED IN ANOTHER DIMENSION!”

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