At Least 40 Deschanelecs

SECRET NAUGHTY CONFESSIONS: AN ADORABLE, QUIRKY LIST CUTELY CUTING

    • I ate three bowls of Pho yesterday. Three. Bowls. I love Asian and Asian-inspired food. But for whatever reason, I seem to be drawn to recipes that aren’t particularly filling. Yes, that’s it. My eating three bowls had nothing to do with my wanting to taste the tastes again. It was the fault of the Pho, no flaw of mine. I’m helpless against the delicate dance Asian foods do on my palate.
    • My feet are posessed by Zooey Deschanel. It’s why I bought these shoes below.
    • Instagram is an iPhone app that makes photos look they were taken in the 60’s, which is appropriate since my feet often feel 50 years old. The filter I used also apparently sharpened my legs, making me look like I need a shave. I don’t. But ANYTHING FOR ART.
      I like high heels. I think they’re sexy and fun and fashionable. I also think they’re uncomfortable and impractical. So I go after cute, comfy shoes like they’re made out of ham. My new shoes feel like slippers. I’m not exaggerating.

      At least 40 Deschanelecs!

    • A Deschanelec is a unit of measurement that tells you how much adorable quirkiness a person or thing is in possession of. Think of them as Friedman Units, only with no time,  and less war and mustache.
    • My son, despite looking a bit like David Letterman with his new “interestingly”-spaced teefies, broke my Deschanelec meter.
    • Will also never work with Cher again.




In the director’s cut, Zooey asks Siri where she can get an abortion, and Siri calls her a whore.

UPDATED WITH SMUT-CONTENT:

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24 thoughts on “At Least 40 Deschanelecs

  1. Hmmm. An adorable gapped-tooth baby with a binky. Pixie shoes that are cute and comfortable (MaryJanes iz niiiice). A phone app that makes your legs look hairy when they’re really not. And three bowls of Pho.

    Good times.

  2. Here is an earlier incarnation of the Manic Pixie Girl (woman child) in the form of Sally Field as Gidget. (Is it a coincidence that she’s eating pancakes?) Field was also a more offbeat MPG in “The Flying Nun”. For some reason, she also sang.

  3. I didn’t do it! IT did!

    Just now watched it all the way to the end. A man spanking his girlfriend looks weird as hell. It’s safe to say we’ve made some progress. State homes for MPGs are the wave of the future! Progress marches on!

  4. Field was also a more offbeat MPG in “The Flying Nun”.
    “Manic Pixie Dream Nun” is wronger than a football bat!

    “State Home for Manic Pixie Dream Girls” was awesome- hopefully, the character will be put away for good.

    • After a few minutes of watching the Zooey Deschanel Show, I’m thinking she’s no more sexy than the nun—- it’s not that she isn’t pretty, but that she appears to be a four year-old trapped in a woman’s body. From looking at her show, she reads like a female Pee Wee Herman to me.

      • Yeah, she’s pretty… her eyes are especially arresting, and I’ve always been a sucker for the dark hair/blue eyes combo, but she’s a little too twee for my tastes (not that I’d have a snowball’s chance in hell). I think the real problem with the Manic Pixie Dream Girl archetype is that it’s a male fantasy construct, constructed by trust-fund schmucks who really shouldn’t have paid writing gigs.

        Damn, I’m coming across as a real Johnny Roughnuts.

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