SECRET NAUGHTY CONFESSIONS: AN ADORABLE, QUIRKY LIST CUTELY CUTING
- I ate three bowls of Pho yesterday. Three. Bowls. I love Asian and Asian-inspired food. But for whatever reason, I seem to be drawn to recipes that aren’t particularly filling. Yes, that’s it. My eating three bowls had nothing to do with my wanting to taste the tastes again. It was the fault of the Pho, no flaw of mine. I’m helpless against the delicate dance Asian foods do on my palate.
- My feet are posessed by Zooey Deschanel. It’s why I bought these shoes below.
- Instagram is an iPhone app that makes photos look they were taken in the 60’s, which is appropriate since my feet often feel 50 years old. The filter I used also apparently sharpened my legs, making me look like I need a shave. I don’t. But ANYTHING FOR ART.
I like high heels. I think they’re sexy and fun and fashionable. I also think they’re uncomfortable and impractical. So I go after cute, comfy shoes like they’re made out of ham. My new shoes feel like slippers. I’m not exaggerating.
- A Deschanelec is a unit of measurement that tells you how much adorable quirkiness a person or thing is in possession of. Think of them as Friedman Units, only with no time, and less war and mustache.
- My son, despite looking a bit like David Letterman with his new “interestingly”-spaced teefies, broke my Deschanelec meter.
In the director’s cut, Zooey asks Siri where she can get an abortion, and Siri calls her a whore.
UPDATED WITH SMUT-CONTENT: