I am screencapturing this, because I am scared to death it will–POOF!–disappear and I want it to live on forever so that everyone will know how disgusting The Derp is.
The Derp has cancer. Yay! I am squarely on the side of Team Cancer.
I’m sharing the following story as a way to sort of reset, get a grip, let go of some of my anger and disgust, and just offer up an antidote to his hatefulness. It’s a small thing, but I had to get it off my chest.
I’ve lived in two different neighborhoods right outside of DC. The current place we’re living is right across the street from sort of Muslim center, so our neighborhood has a lot of, well, Muslims in it. Our last neighborhood was heavily populated with blacks and latinos. We’re military. I imagine a lot of the people living in our last neighborhood worked at the Pentagon.
I jog past these people, drive past them, walk past them, talk to them, live next to them. I’m going to say this, though I feel I shouldn’t have to: I didn’t exactly live “in the hood.” But a multi-culti neighborhood is a multi-culti neighborhood and while these are nice neighborhoods they are not wealthy neighborhoods. Hey, it’s hard to be wealthy in DC.
Anyhoo, long story short, lots and lots of blacks in my last neighborhood. Like, every other house. So I was jogging in one of the tonier areas of my neighborhood and there are two dogs in the front yard of this one house. They went after me like I was made out of ham. All I got was a tiny nip on the ankle. They weren’t large dogs, but they were large enough to put a scare in me. Scared, angry me stood in the middle of the street, kind of paralyzed, screaming for the home owners to get their fucking dogs. A large black man comes out of the house behind me. I snippily ask if these are his dogs. He patiently says “No.” and proceeds to clear the way for me. The dogs are intimidated by his height and decidedly not-defensive posture. They slunk away. I offered an effusive “Thank you, Sir!” and continued jogging home. I was shaken. But felt extraordinarily grateful for the nice, big, calm guy who came to my rescue. More big black guys for my neighborhood, please.
I apologize for the tense changes, but I felt they made for a better story. And sorry if it came off a little “Magical Negro”-ish. That’s not the aim of the story. The aim of the story is to show that I am living, breathing, proof that The Derp is full of shit. When was the last time this fuckface was even around a black person who doesn’t have Stockholm Syndrome?
GO TEAM CANCER!!!!