Possibly the Most Obnoxious Entry I’ll Ever Write

This entry is going to be obnoxious. I’m going to brag, I’m going to reveal some things about myself I’m not particularly proud of. I have a dickish side and welcome to it.

It starts like this. Everyone thinks his or her child is beautiful, and everybody should. You’d be inhuman and a jerk if you didn’t.

When Lord Chubbington was born I had no idea what I’d be getting. I knew I’d love him to death, that he’d be my heart walking around outside my body, but beyond that I had no clue. And lots of ok-looking people have pretty ugly babies. But I had no idea I’d be gifted with this exquisite creature. Sometimes he takes my breath away. Sometimes it makes me tear up. Lest you think I’m being shallow here, I, of course, love him for more than his supernatural cuteness. He is the sweetest, funniest, goofiest little fellow, and he must make me laugh 50 times a day. But he’s also SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL.

And I know this entry is nakedly braggadocios and jerky, but I had to get to just vomit this up and get it out. I’M SO FUCKING PROUD! I can’t believe I had any hand in this. I’ve always had pretty low self-esteem, and honestly it’s a kick knowing I had anything to do with how gorgeous and lovely and lovable he is.

I took some good pictures with a real camera yesterday. I give you–objectively–one of the cutest babies on the face of the earth:

Look at the shape of his eyes, his teeny little button nose. He’s just…unreal.

Another thing I made: Burgers with Browned Mushrooms and Onions, Swiss Cheese and Bacon with Arugula on Kaiser Rolls + Perfect Crispy Potatoes (I put a little butter and mayo on the rolls)


14 thoughts on “Possibly the Most Obnoxious Entry I’ll Ever Write

  1. He IS beautiful. When you’re right, you’re right!
    There is nothing wrong with being proud of your son. You’ve got every right to be.

    It’s an out of control kind of love, isn’t it? I would go through the pain of giving birth to them everyday if it meant that they were a part of my life and that they were happy.

    Don’t feel dickish for bragging about him. You love him! The world needs more Mothers like you. Many people are just so disconnected and only care about themselves-kids come last.

    He’ll grow up to be a great person because his biggest fan will always be there for him.

    You’re a great Mum-he’s very lucky too. 🙂


    • You are too kind, Laura. I think you humor me so much because you’re such a loving, involved mom yourself. 😉

      I grew up with a verbally abusive stepmother. I had no emotional security growing up, and it messed me up pretty badly. I’m still dealing with the scars. And I just want LC’s experience to be the exact opposite. I want him to feel smothered with love.

      • A little tid bit that I’ve learned along the way…
        When young blood goes to school, the best way to make sure that he gets treated well and looked after a smidge better, is to volunteer. I’m not talking about just going to PTA meetings either.
        I cook the hot dogs, read with the primary kids and help wherever needed. I totally kiss the teachers asses too.
        Let me tell you, I’ve had very few problems. Any concerns that I had were resolved quickly (with everyone on MY side of things usually).
        Get in good at the school and he will have a great time of it. 😀

        (now, that’s a secret that I don’t tell everyone-even though, I did just kind of tell everyone. )

  2. oh my…that last pic of him? what a look!

    also, everything laura said…can she come along when we meet up in new york?

    and yes, i have little doubt this will be your last obnoxious entry…

  3. I also can’t believe that a clod like me could have had anything to do with my kids, who are fabulous. Then are so cute and clever. It is just unbelievable.
    The Chubbster is devastatingly cute tho’ and I hope you are enrolling him in Abercrombie and Fitch modelling school right away.
    It’s great that you are enjoying him, people sometimes forget to do that. I love that you are appreciating his goofiness, that’s something most people don’t get.
    Great Mom, you

  4. Well he IS beautiful! The way not to be a jerk is to NOT treat children who aren’t so blessed as lesser children and not to make a big deal out of the beauty of other children who are blessed with good looks when you don’t know them. To children, anyone they like and trust is beautiful and no child would think that there was something wrong with their face (shy a really unfortunate deformity or scarring) if it were not for our commercial adulation of form that is particularly pleasing to the eye and Disney children wearing lots and lots of make-up.

    When being a nanny for the last special needs kid I had in my charge, it floored me how often adult strangers would remark on how attractive she was. Strangers have no cause to remark on how attractive a child is. For one thing, it’s creepy in a pedo way. For another, the child had no hand in it. For another, when she was living with her mother, was severely neglected, and looked like a ragamuffin, people gave her dirty looks. That bothered me just as much as the “positive” comments. The “attractiveness” people saw was MY work making her healthy, well-dressed, well-rested, and well-groomed on top of her being a little blessed.

    All babies should be beautiful and ones own babies should be the most beautifulmul babbies of all— especially when they ARE.

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