What Took You So Long?

The thing that surprises me about Newt’s surge in the polls is that it took him this long to catch on. Honestly, I thought he was a perfect fit for the GOP candidacy from the get-go. I mean, he’s incredibly mean, nasty, arrogant, hypocritical, he scapegoats the media, and he’s not particularly bright. BUT he has the sheen of intellectualism covering him. Even the dumbest, most craven, blood-lusting wingnut knows that their candidate ultimately has to be electable. And let’s be very clear about 2 things:

Evil Gnome, Newt Gingrich

1.) They are not rejecting Mitt Romney because he’s not conservative enough; he’s plenty conservative. Plus, he’d literally push his own mother off a cliff to appease the Teabaggers. The reason they don’t like him is because he’s not mean enough. He doesn’t sneer enough at people who disagree with him. He doesn’t act like a rabid dog when he’s forced to answer tough questions. Right or wrong, Teabaggers and the Teabagger-adjacent want their candidate to be tough. They love mindless bluster and “I’ll show those liberals (even though I’m wrong about everything or breathtakingly stupid/ignorant)” swagger.

2.) The Teabaggers aren’t dropping Michelle, Rick and Herman because they’re clownish, hateful and ill-informed. To Teabaggers, these are features, not bugs.  No, they’re dropping them because they know the rest of America, the America that is generally good-natured but not particularly engaged, will find these walking colostomy bags a little, um, off-putting.

So here’s Newt: He’s the WHOLE PACKAGE. Sure, he’s got shitloads of baggage. But, dammit, that man is one loathsome, sneering, snide, ill-informed ASSHOLE. AND he can sound smart. He makes bad cases for bad policy, but he does it confidently, articulately and convincingly. And that’s all that matters to the base. It’s all about appearances.  I say he’s their savior.  I say he’s the great. pasty, smarmy, smug, nasty, White hope.

Oh, Newt. I hope you win the nomination. WE WILL FINISH YOU.


16 thoughts on “What Took You So Long?

  1. The thing that surprises me about Newt's surge in the polls is that it took him this long to catch on.My take is different. The only reason that discredited scumbag got in this race was to sell books.Lo and behold, the field is so putrid (and Wall Street so happy with their main man, Obama), that this turd has floated to the top.Furthermore, POOP!~

  2. Lawd have mercy on any liberal I meet who was so offended by President Obama's failure to be liberal enough that he/she decides to punish him by sitting out the next election. Republicans vote. Anyone who can't see the importance of voting for the "lesser evil" needs to have their head examined.

  3. Like ITTDGY, my impression — formed from reading LGM rather than research — is that Newt and Callista are in it as grifters rather than from any personal ambition. And while his laziness, venality and hypocrisy are evidently no turn-off for the pollees, and if anything could find favour in their eyes, he hasn't wasted any donations to build the organisation in primary states he needs to win the actual primaries. So no chance.It was my impression that the interminable 9-ring debate circus was never intended to relate much to the primary process, but was rather supposed to provide the GOP with free advertising as the candidates all stayed on message about the evils of Obama and the Democrat party. Only someone didn't get the memo and they've been DEBATING one another, to the horror of Republican boosters like Ann Coulter, who are now accusing the MSM of foisting the whole circus upon the Republicans in order to make them look bad.Anyway, possibly what the poll responders like about Newt at the moment is simply the fact that he's been off the scene for a while (holidaying in Greece or whereever) so they are free to project whatever qualities they like onto him, unencumbered by too much evidence. They can tell themselves he's smart, despite the stupidity of his ideas; they can tell themselves that the palpable sense of contempt he emits whenever he appears in public is directed at journalists and any non-Republican voters, rather than at them. They think that he is finally the one who will bring down the whip on those journalists who have been pushing other candidates around, and put the media collectively in its place.A few short weeks ago they liked Newt, then they disliked him, now he is their only hope again. When the party leaders inform them that Romney is the people's choice, they will turn to liking him instead. These people are not afflicted by many problems with cognitive dissonance.

  4. What Herr Smut said. That's a frigging quality comment right there.I'm not a big fan of teh National Post, but this is a good article. Really, the polling bumps of the various Tea Party surge candidates have almost nothing to do with the candidates themselves. It's just a quite substantial Anyone-But-Mitt block. And as much as conservatives are epic in their ability to forget the immediate past, it's a good sign that so much of them hate their pre-chosen candidate. Plus teh Tea Party darlings aren't exactly known for their ability to forgive and forget. It's going to be quite interesting to see the fallout of that primary.

  5. That's a frigging quality comment right there.The observation can't be that acute if Peggy Noonan is saying the same thing in MB's link:Newt "said I’m not going to fight with the other guys, they know I’ll be a better president than Obama […] Plus, I’m going to hate the media for you and take them on.”So he's telling the party faithful that no-one cares about the $2 million lobbying fee he received from a bank. The message is that reporters will not be asking him awkward or embarrassing questions because he will tell them what questions to ask. Perhaps that strategy didn't work so well for Palin and Cain but this time the media will Obey his Authority, for he is an old white male.

  6. Well Nooners may have overlapped teh common enemy of teh media point but I think that might be teh whole blind watch-broken squirrel thing.The whole "Primary as Free Advertising" thing is pretty brilliant. And the disconnect that had to be present for teh moneymen to think it was going to work when teh clowns they had as "alternate choices" were such a bag of loose cannons.Anyways, I still lurned something from teh post.

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