The Blatant Blegging of an Appallingly Lazy Person

I have gotten a request to donate some art/words to this publication.  This is the request:

My Little Bounty

Hi Beth,

My name is Jana Holstein and I’m the managing editor of Somerset Digital Studio at Stampington & Company, a publishing company in Laguna Hills, California.  Somerset Digital Studio is a 144-page full-color publication that showcases digitally-created scrapbook pages, altered photos, ATCs, and more. I came across your work on deviantart and would love to publish a feature article on you and show some of your fabulous designs. Your work is wonderful and I love your style!
The images we’d like to use include:
·         The Flux Capacitor
·         My Little Bounty
·         Keeper of the Mushrooms
·         Whichever Way the Wind Blows
·         Beautiful Nightmare
We’d like to showcase your work in a technique-based feature article in my Spring 2012 issue which releases on March 1, 2012. Would you be willing to write this article for me? If so, I will need the following sent to me electronically:
  •   hi-res (at least 300dpi, 6×6) images of requested page(s)  
  •   please make sure each image has a title & feel free to suggest a title for your article
  •   an introduction to your work process, inspiration, etc.
  •   the techniques you use to create them, photo-editing program used, credits, etc.
  •   “endlines” to run at the end of the article — 2-3 sentences to serve as a brief biography ( i.e. “Jane Doe is a mixed-media artist who resides in Anytown, US. She may be reached by email at To see more of Jane’s work, please visit her blog at
  •   your complete mailing address so we know where to send your complimentary issue & compensation check

Please let me know as soon as possible if you’re willing to write this for me. The deadline to get all this to me is December 9, 2011. Compensation will be paid at a rate of $25 per printed page, and you will receive a complimentary copy of the magazine. This publication will be released on March 1, 2012.

Let me know if you have any questions. I look forward to working with you!

Eek. Articles and writing and shit. I want to do this, but with my spare time being precious, this feels a tad overwhelming. Do any of you have an idea about how I should begin? Is there some outline I should go with? Any and all advice is welcome.

Also, look at this:

That is fucktons of awesome right there. *sigh, drool*

70 thoughts on “The Blatant Blegging of an Appallingly Lazy Person

  1. do you have an artist's statement? might be a good jumping off point for your inspiration, etc….then i would take it just one piece at a time…meaning describe your method for each piece one at a time, then edit those into a single narrative to reduce any redundancies and then work on your endlines…this way you start off with the easy part (unless you don't have an artist's statement) to get your creativity flowing…then move on to the more difficult task of describing your method on each pic and then you're back to the easy endlines…it's an approach i like to use which i call 'reward, hard slog, reward'

  2. Actually, I have found that humor and laughter is a great facilitator of creativity, even more than booze.I used to keep a bunch of episodes of MST3K in my office, and watch them in the background while I was designing. It helped focus and inspire the creative juices, not to mention being fucking funny.Now, if we could just find some funny people to comment here….

  3. Advice? Know your audience. Look at previous features from the publication to get a feel of what the editors and their subscribers are expecting.Then, ignore it all and just send in URLs for where you're hosting all your webcam pr0ns.

  4. Don't give away all your trade secrets. Also, can you get more info. from the magazine, like examples of artists' careers being helped by the exposure involved; can you negotiate for more free copies and have the magazine forward them to contacts/clients that interest you; ie, think of what you want from them, and then ask away! Consider their offer a first bid in a negotiation process.

  5. Also, I don't know how digital artists protect their images from just being downloaded and printed out by anyone for free… except by introducing some kind of signature that interrupts the image, like you see on stock photos for sale. Would something like that be appropriate here? Since that mag. is probably up on copyright issues, maybe it's worth asking them all about it.

  6. How about using the blog as your "first draft" for each section of your article. Hash it out here, where you have an audience of "friendlies", albeit a bunch of smartasses, then cobble together the article from these "drafts".Also, make sure you find out what the deal is with your rights as the owner of the "intellectual property". You don't want to sign away anything. CYA, bubeleh, CYA.Oh, and congratulations!

  7. Now, if we could just find some funny people to comment here….I know. It's a shame my commenters are so dull and unfunny, and I never cackle with glee when reading my threads. It's a damn shame.

  8. Also, I don't know how digital artists protect their images from just being downloaded and printed out by anyone for free… except by introducing some kind of signature that interrupts the image, I'm pretty liberal about usage of my images, and I'm too vain to cover them up with a watermark. My images are free to use for any personal use. Pretty much the only thing I ask of people is to not SELL my stuff without my permission. I guess I figure the more peepers that are on my art, the better.

  9. The early fall leaves skittered across the cracked sidewalk, all yellow and gold death in a hurry. I hunched into my hood, and bent into the wind, driven by equal parts fear and purpose. I stopped in front of the ornately carved door, the one with the glittering numbers 44 set into the wall above the doorbell in some kind of metal that seemed to emit a kind of malevolent light.Another decision, in a day that had been replete with them. Knock, ring, or refuse to be another supplicant, an artist seeking a commission. Screw that, I thought, as I drove a short steel pry bar into the door jamb and popped the door open, startled for a moment at how easy it turned out to be.I walked carefully into the foyer, the pry bar dangling forgotten in my hand. The floor was solid, oak on oak, yet I sensed a dampness to it, as if it had recently succumbed before the onslaught of nature. The air was musty, and the sconces seemed dim, as if their very light was dissolving in dimness.You know.somehting like that…

  10. An "artist's statement." All my years in art school, I no hear this. Hmmm. That looks pretty interesting, actually. A nice challenge. Good advice, too. And so too is zombie's blog post recommendation. Of course, women's work does tend to be biographical. Am I just imagining that when I look at your work?I'm going to link some word's in my poems, and explain some of the lines because we don't have a common language or common education in shared mythologies and symbols. It should make it easier to read when it's explained, since poetry can be so dense and hard to get into when you can't figure out what the hell the poet is talking about.I'D DO IT. FIND THE TIME. ORDER PIZZA OR SOMETHING AND MAKE THE TIME, BUT PROMOTE YOUR WORK!

  11. I'm pretty liberal about usage of my images…I don't care if someone copies my images, but they can't make them larger without losing resolution. If someone wants to buy some of my pictures (I'll be adding that option next week, after I post all the photo albums), frame them, and sell them, that's alright with me, just as long as they write my pen name on the back. I have the originals with my camera's signature, so there's really no contest. All my friends from Sadlyno! can download the largest image available from me for free for birthdays and Christmas or X-Mas type holidaysIf someone wants to take my images and alter them, neo-geo style, collage, digitally, whatever, then more power to them. That's what artists do and I will never notice an idea missing, so none of that sheepishly delivered "I stole your idea." stuff—that's silly.

  12. I can't help but notice that your blog is no longer floating. I'm no longer getting updates in my blogroll. Just a heads up: this is extremely important feature for people who stay updated on your stuff through their blogrolls. of course, I'll check in anyway. Anyway, at the risk of eliciting your ire, I REALLY LIKE your apple photo. It's really gorgeous and impactful. Yes, I just made up a word for it.

  13. Clouds is so adorable. Our hot water heater is pooped out for some inexplicable reason so we're boiling water and now he's filling our water cooler with tap water and then using the hot spigot to fill a pitcher to pour in the bath in addition to what we have going in the pots. What a doll.

  14. That sounds like a shitload of work for an uncertain payoff.The mitigating factor is that it's not liek teh work is going to disappear. Teh work you're being asked to do has potential other use. Putting together blurbs for a multi-page glossy spread ain't that much different than putting together a sales brochure or sample portfolio or wev you artistic types call it.That's probs something else you might want to keep in mind while writing. Can you write it such that (with minor tweaking) you could send it to galleries or agents.

  15. OK, here's an update: the lady called me last night. I looked my phone it said "Orange County Area," and I was like "OMG, THE O.C. IS CALLING ME!!!" But it was the lady from the magazine…and she told me not to sweat the writing. She said the focus is on the art and she'd "make it work." So as far as I'm concerned, it's all systems go.

  16. If I just had a relationship, I'm sure I could be all angsty about it.Perhaps an unrequited love could fill that void where vs wants angst. I can't do it with my relationship—twelve years, one "fight" (no hitting, of course). I can tell him if he does or doesn't do something I'll leave him where I fuckin' find him Pesci style, and he just laughs.

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