National Poop Day

I have what’s known as an artist’s temperament. No. Scratch that. Take it and multiply by 100. That’s my temperament. Yes, I’m a flawed human being. Really, really flawed. When it comes to my art, I am easily wounded. 

In the past, every commission I’ve made has gotten an effusive reaction. Like, embarrassingly effusive. The one I just finished got an “I’m warming up to it” and a “She’ll be pleased.” Um, WHAT?  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

I issued a partial refund (and a curt reply).  I thought about issuing a full refund, but FUCK THAT. I put HOURS of work into this thing.

I just feel so shaken now.

Also, my son took a shit that somehow ended up on his feet.

Today is November 14, 2011. I call it National Poop Day.

Let’s think cheery thoughts now. Think cheery thoughts. Think cheery thoughts. Think cheery thoughts.

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30 thoughts on “National Poop Day

  1. I have a couple friends who build and repair chimneys. Not a huge call for that down here in Florida, but they also don't have a lot of competition and they are very good at what they do. Last summer they were hired to do a remodel on a house in a very high end neighborhood. When they started work there they heard stories from other contractors that the owners were tightwad bastards who would find fault with everybody's work and then try to haggle them way down on the price. My freinds went on to complete their work, I've seen pictures and it was beutiful work, only to have the owners fuss and complain and insist that they would only pay an ammount far less than the originally agreed upon price. A few months later, when the first good cold front came through, they got a call from these customers. They were absolutely livid and screaming about the shoddy work on the chimney. It seems that they had lit a fire in the fireplace only to have their house fill up with smoke. My friends assured them that they could easily fix the problem as soon as they received the rest of the payment for the work done. About a month went by with several heated phone calls and threats from the customer before he finally, reluctantly, paid the rest of his bill. My friends drove down with a brick, a ladder and a broom. One of them climed the ladder so he could drop the brick down the chimney and so break the pane of glass that they had set in there when they built it. Then they picked up the brick, swept up the broken glass and got in their truck and went home.

  2. Wow. That's pretty douchey behavior. Good on your friends for how they handled it. Heh heh heh. Cleva, cleva… You know, I'd almost prefer that to this, which is basically just my having hurt feelings.

  3. I agree with ZRM. Unless you just didn't spend any time on it (and I know that's not true), you lived up to your end of the agreement. It's not your fault it doesn't suit his tastes–that's one of the risks of commissioning a piece of art. I am appallingly insecure about my writing to the point of paralysis. It's easy to be that way about a creative product, I think, because it's not just work you've done. It's a representation of who you are. If you ever figure out a way to short-circuit your artistic ego, let me know, because I could use the advice.

  4. Yeah, I get the same feeling sometimes presenting plans or designs. I wind up just blasting through it, though, and getting drunk afterwards.I never feel that way about writing. I have no fear just barfing stuff onto the screen, and hitting "publish"And look where that's gotten me, so YMMV.

  5. Thing is, you're actually a really good writer. I say this as someone who actually once took writing somewhat seriously and whose father has worked as an editor for prolly a 1/3 of his life.

  6. Oh wait, the construction industry has its own urban legends? Thats kinda neat.This is a particular favorite.If you ever figure out a way to short-circuit your artistic ego, let me know, because I could use the advice.Booze helps…Don't take it personally, vs… some people just like being jerks. Like zrm said, cash the check and scratch the jerk off your contact list.

  7. Ungrateful wanker of a client. As an artist who takes pride in their work, I wouldn't offer money back under any circumstances. For your own peace of mind you can always ask them what the problem was, and if it's some reasonable little thing you might offer a quick fix for ADDITIONAL cash. If it's unreasonable, see that for what it is and don't let your pride suffer one jot!

  8. Has your son pooped up his back to his neck yet? Oh how we laughed about that, with the pressure involved, you'd think, it would be dangerous.VS, I can understand that about the lukewarm response to your art. Particularly in respect of the hours you put into it. But at least it's not howls of derisive laughter.The other thing is that some art that is truly important to people can take some time to grow on them.

  9. I will now go all contrarian zombie, and say that I think the client should be cut some slack; they did, after all, pay the ottist; vs indicated that the partial refund was voluntary on her part.If the client was truly unhappy, they would have stiffed the check, and maybe refused the artwork.Which would, of course, have sucked worse for VS. So we're all happy that didn't happen.

  10. OMG. I missed National POOP Day by twenty-five minutes! Wait. I live in a different nation so there's that. Plus World Toilet Day is THIS SATURDAY!Art and taste as you know, is subjective. You are now at a grand total of ONE commission that didn't make teh client spooge when they received it. I gotta say, sorry about teh broken perfect record, but you are still batting what, umpty-bazillion?Here's teh main issue – were you happy with the piece? As a professional, catering to the client is important – but as a professional, what really matters is maintaining your own standards. IOW, wot everyone else already done said.

  11. I DO NOT WORK ON COMMISSION. Because, I to have an artist's temperament and I want my painting, or picture, or primitive sculpture, or papier machie box to look like I want it to look. Your art has a commercial application, and a demand other than you can buy this IF YOU WANT IT EXACTLY AS IT IS, that pays more than your image as you painted would, at this stage.Have you done any shows? Maybe that would pick you up.Shit on feet? I started changing diapers when I was four years old. Perennial Big Sister, here with three little brothers all told and they have all pissed in my eye. Clouds once cleaned-up his step-son's masterpiece on the inside of his crib. He got seriously into some impasto shit. It's kind of neat that they aren't offended by their own shit, at first, but eventually it's gonna smell really rotten, and even them babbies will be averse to get shit all over themselves.

  12. but you are still batting what, umpty-bazillion?Here's teh main issue – were you happy with the piece?Well, I've hardly made a bazillion commissions. More like a handful or two. Plus, sold a couple dozen prints. But a couple handfuls of amazing feedback still kinda spoils you when you finally get a "meh." I was fairly happy with the piece. The subject matter wasn't very inspiring. I tried HARD to make her exciting. And I was thrilled with the concept. I mean, the message of the piece was so lovely. And the care I put into it…that's the thing that gets me…it's the care and time I put into things…when people act not grateful it just knocks the wind out of my sails.

  13. Your art has a commercial application, and a demand other than you can buy this IF YOU WANT IT EXACTLY AS IT IS, that pays more than your image as you painted would, at this stage.I may stop doing "make our wedding pictures/middle-aged wife look neat" work. I just find it inspiring. At all. The guy before last had the right idea. He threw loads of cash at me and basically said "go nuts." I did. He loved it. MORE OF THAT, PLEASE.

  14. As an artist who takes pride in their work, I wouldn't offer money back under any circumstances.I think you're right on this. I should never have given any money back. It will never happen again.

  15. And the care I put into it…that's the thing that gets me…it's the care and time I put into things…when people act not grateful it just knocks the wind out of my sails. Fuck those fuckers. You worked on that piece diligently and honestly. That's the important standard. Treat your work seriously and with the respect it deserves – everything else is gravy.

  16. SHE MADE SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING!!!!How can that be honest?Wait. I thought she started with stock and then manipulated teh heck out of it until it was, while still recognizable, completely and totally different from what it had been before.

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