Serious Music Person Reviews Music. Seriously.

I stoleded this vid from Jennifer’s place.

I attempted to review the song, but WordPress is a big dumb meanie-head and kept chucking chunks of my text and taking a big old dump on my “joke,” even though, as I said over there, jokes are funnier the third or fourth time around. 

Anyway, here’s what Serious Music Person attempted to write:

Bert and Ernie’s new Album “Straight Outta Glasgow” is a muddled mess. I could only listen to it about 14,000 times before I realized it was a shallow, pandering gift to lazy listeners and a meandering vanity project at once. Should you run across this record, this music reviewer recommends that you immediately burn it with your lighter in an emo, showy way, as a single tear glides down your cheek and as you mourn the death of Music.

In happier music-reviewing news, Serious Music Person can’t recommend these two Foster the People songs enough. It’s rare that I hear a song and it resonates after the 1st or 2nd listen, but damned if these two didn’t grab and hook me right a way.

Yes, you’ve heard the song in a commercial. That’s the new(ish) thing. Advertising anus-faces search for the next new alternative darling and put their songs in a commercial, rendering their alternative status “null”*. Don’t fuckin’ care. Good catchy music is good catchy music. They’re both stunningly addictive songs that sound as if they were crafted with care, and–more importantly–love and joy. If that’s not a criteria for good music, I honestly don’t know what is. (Plus, also such as to, the name “Pumped Up Kicks” is awesome and makes me giggle.)

What’s a recent song you heard that you IMMEDIATELY liked? Serious Music Person wants to know.

*Full disclosure: I HATE Vampire Weekend; The Black Keys are my boyfriend.

UPDATE: Speaking of songs that get under your skin…I’m a little disturbed how much I find myself singing this song during the day. Sure, it’s ironically. But what’s the earnest appreciation to ironic appreciation ratio, really? I’m afraid to ask myself. I think we all are. I’m afraid the irony:earnestness ratio is changing all the time, and it scares me. All’s I know is that I Am America. *slow-motion smile*

Damn you, Herman Cain!!! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!!


29 thoughts on “Serious Music Person Reviews Music. Seriously.

  1. What's a recent song you heard that you IMMEDIATELY liked?There have, of course, been many.Hooligan's Holiday – CrueAlmost Honest – MegadethHey Jealousy – Gin BlossomsCocktail Queen – TaxxiLittle Things – Bush (Actually, most of Sixteen Stone)EVERYTHING BY BOSTONHey! Did I ever tell you my story about Spoonman?

  2. The two Foster the People songs sound pretty good when played together, but not as good as I'm Gonna Be and Don't Stop played together. But when it comes to great Muppet tunes, there can be only one.I'm an old fart who doesn't listen to new unless someone who's blog I follow posts it on their blog. So relatively new, for me, would be any song on The Bears – Car Caught Fire Album. Like fer instance Under the Volcano.

  3. I'm an old fart, too, but I've always been lazy about music and have usually been guided by, "Hey Wiley, have you listened to this (sticks tape or disc into my hand) or have you seen this band? They're playing at ______, ______ night. I have searched for different songs on myplaylist and youtube. Found a version of "Stony End" by someone I never heard of can't remember. Love that Ernie and Bert number. People who think derivative art isn't creative wouldn't know creativity if it bit their ass. You know the types—they do random shit and think they're being creative. OOH. Tie-die. How creative? Really. How creative?

  4. WHAT!?!? He won't let you use "Pookie"?! Non-sense! That's sacrilege! "Pookie" and "Pookie-tronics, and (one of my personal favorties)"Poopsie-kins" are fine things to call little people.I also like "Munchkins", "Chillins," "Curtain Hangers" and "Crumb Snatchers."

  5. That is a good cover of "Manic Depression". My favorite Hendrix song is like loaded bubblegum—"Remember." (Oh remember/the blue jays and the honeybees/they used to sing for the sunshine/they used to sing for their dinner, babe/they used to sing so sweet/ but since my maybe left me/i ain't heard a tune all day…)

  6. since my baby left me. I've been making a lot of typos lately. Clouds looked at my grocery list yesterday and said, "You want a bag of dark children"? I said, "WHAT!? No, no, no. I want a bag of dark chicken." He said, "Good. Where am I going to get a bag of dark children at this time of the night?"Of course, it could be subliminal. Pookietronic made me kind of hungry for some baby. It's been a while.

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