Assline News

So I wake this morning to find this in my blogroll:

“News to Excite Assholes.”

I was disappointed relieved to learn the corresponding entry was not about aggressive ass-play. Then again, it is about the Catholic church, so, I guess in the end (!!) it is about aggressive ass-play.

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49 thoughts on “Assline News

  1. "Assplay"??Really?How's that work? Do you have to put your Barbie or a bunch of your little green army men up there? Can you play, like, "Cat's Cradle" with someone's ass? How do you get the smell out of the string?"Billy. Wash up for lunch. Where have you been?""Just playing, mom.""Where? You didn't cross the street, did you?""No mom. We were just playing in Lisa's ass.""Oh. Ok then. Wash up with BLEACH."

  2. I laughed out loud. I'll be honest, mikey…I'm not terribly familiar with ass-play…but I sure do I find it funny to talk about. If you come to this blog expecting maturity…well…don't.

  3. from my link:In 1955 one man who was "feeling depressed" reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick.One marvels.

  4. I'll come in and try that again. (Fucking keyboards, how do they work?)LUCEEEEEE!!! You got some assplayin' to do!W/V says that when vs walks by all the men develop tents. She's a real mententr

  5. "from my link:In 1955 one man who was "feeling depressed" reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick.One marvels."And then one cringes.

  6. I clicked Zombie's link.I read a few lines. I started to click [Back]. I stopped, went back, read a few more lines. My butt started feeling weird, and totally clenched up. I got up and walked in a circle around the room. I stared pensively out the window. I came back, and read a little more. I stopped, shook my head and clicked [Back]. And now I have modified an internet convention slightly to fit these sort of conditions:tw;drToo weird, didn't read.Carry on…

  7. You will be pleased to know that the Rectal Foreign Bodies site is still around.It must have been one of the first websites in the history of the Intertuba.I call your special attention to the 'concrete enema' story; to the surgeons' ingenuity when dealing with a lightbulb; and to the x-rays.HTH.If you come to this blog expecting maturityWe are not all D-KW.

  8. mikey is kind of easily squicked out.I think it's mostly in matters of the butt. I suspect I may have some issues. Never really liked "Brown Eyed Girl". Just don't like operating in close proximity to poop, even in its native habitat. Perhaps ESPECIALLY in its native habitat.I suppose I'm the opposite of anal retentive. Um. Would that be Anal Impermeable? 'Cause that would be weird. 'Specially if I was gay.Gnome sane?

  9. As soon as Zombies comments got non-linear the whole blogoverse sort of went sideways. But much like clocks synchronize their pendulums, or women synchronize their, well, does that actually happen? Anyway, the theory is we'll all get back in the proper cycle at some point.But, young undead, let this be a lesson to you!

  10. Dear Ms. Vacuumslayer:As Mr. M. Bouffant's attorneys, we would appreciate not having JAB(FLA)™ being seen anywhere near that vulgar WF website, & are prepared to seek an injunction in court should such an unfortunate juxtaposition be made again. Thank you, Ben Dover, Esq.Dewy, Cheatam & HoweP.S.: Mr. Bouffant would like to note that he read the "I am amazed at mikey's lack of internet sophistication in this case" item on a remnant of a dead tree in approximately 1986, & (even w/o the deviancy-increasing effect of the Internet) was merely amused, as he knows better than to stick anything not made of flesh or pliable plastic up there.

  11. GOD, this thread is classy. I was thinking the same thing as I scrolled through the commentariums VS.But at least they all made me laugh out loud..a big deal these days. Thanks folks and especially my favorite artist-type personage for your weird subject matter. 😉

  12. Marcus Licinius Crassus: My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters. Antoninus: My tastes include octopus. And squid. Any form of tentacled cephalopod monstrosity. COME THE GREAT MASTER! IA! IA! CTHULHU FHTAGN!!!

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