OK, so I’m issuing a challenge. I want you to link to a song you really feel guilty about liking. I mean, really. Not “oh, this is cool but I’m pretending it’s dorky so I’ll still look like a supa-stah!” but really really awful and dorky.
I will go first. Because I kind of have to. But you have no idea how much it pains me to put this shit on display. Not only will the Cool Table be verboten to me, it may actually issue a restraining order against me.
OK, this first song is just awful. There’s no getting around it. Even while I like it for the sick reasons I like it, I recognize that it’s just not a very good song. It’s smarmy, it’s cheesy, it’s just fucking BAD. But for some reason the lyrics and the breathy, macho way the lead singer sings sucks me in. I’m a sick person.
Well, my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
Would you like to lose still more respect for me? Good! I can go all day!
This song I discovered because it was the theme song for a soap couple. This is getting off to a great start, isn’t it?!!!! At first I thought it was kind of cheesy, but then its operatic melodrama kinda won me over. Now, I actually don’t think it’s a bad song, even while recognizing its slick cheddar core. (Also, Kaci Brown–even though she is a shit-monger–has an amazing voice and range.)
One more. I actually think this song sucks a tiny bit, but I learned it because I enjoy singing the harmony to it. Yes, I can sing. And teach myself the harmony to songs.
Does everybody hate me now? GOOD! You can all go fuck yourselves!
Kidding, kidding. Now you go. I dare you.