Pieces of Me, Severed Toes

Today was the first day I took Dudeskull on a proper outing. For reasons that still aren’t entirely clear, I dressed him like a golfer.

Dressin’ babies funny–the most adorable form of child abuse

I’m gonna pause here and give you all a chance to dial Child Protective Services.

OK, now that you’re back, I hope you’re prepared to feel guilty. Because I suffered for my sins. See, I wore some new shoes on this outing…and they were the singular most uncomfortable pair of shoes I have ever worn in my life.

As I was hobbling out of the store, I was thinking to myself. “Cruel shoes cruel shoes cruel shoes cruel shoes…omfg, these are the cruel shoes!!!!” Seriously, I have worn actual stiletto-type, fetish-type shoes, and they were leagues more comfortable than these pumps.

I’m curious as to how such an innocuous-looking pair of shoes with a not particularly high heel–and flowers and fruits on them ferchristsakes!– can feel so torturous. It will have to remain a mystery, as they are going back to Zappos. Holy fucking shit goddamn piss hell PAIN!!!!!!!!

No, I am not wearing blush or other pinky make-up. I am just the pinkest person on the planet.

If I look spectacularly unhappy here, well, you know why. JEEEEEEEEESUS.

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29 thoughts on “Pieces of Me, Severed Toes

  1. Huh.I dunno. Just kinda guess I woulda thought that someone who makes her living manipulating images with high end image manipulation software might just, y'know, reduce the pinkishness (thanks Bucky)and otherwise bend the picture to her will.While she was at it, some ominous storm clouds and a sword or two would be cool.Ooohhh. Or maybe a CROSSBOW!!

  2. My money is on surgical foot-reversing as the next stage in body-mod, because backward-pointing feet are (a) impractical, and (b) mythological. I reckon "The Black Swan" will only have helped this come into practice.

  3. Heels are history.I've actually never been much of a heels wearer and was thinking of being of the first woman in history to actually be MORE fashionable after becoming a mother. Ha. I know.

  4. The shoe straps cutting into your ankles like bra straps into the shoulders of the extra-endowed might have been a clue.Will not even start on the tennis racquet pin & sequined scarf. (Does go w/ the golf threads, though.) Just not what I'd expect from a "deviant" artist.

  5. I'm sorry, you want Hipster Douches or Alternative Girls with Square-Rimmed Glasses ™. They're down the hall and to the right. Type up your complaints about my wardrobe and drop them off in the I Don't Give a Shit What Commenters Think about My Sense of Style Department drop box. It's open at all hours.

  6. Oh! Top of the foot torture? That's the fucking WORST. Especially with cloth. I'd rather have smushed toes and heel blisters."I'm sorry, you want Hipster Douches or Alternative Girls with Square-Rimmed Glasses ™. They're down the hall and to the right. "We're neighbors?!

  7. Babies are funny because wee dude is rockin' the hat like a stone boss, whereas on us large folk a thing like that puts a hurt on eyes far & wide.Babies are fashion Jedis.

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