It’s Fucking Official

I vant to be alone.

Please leave. And take all your lectures and advice with you.

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45 thoughts on “It’s Fucking Official

  1. 1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum1 oz pineapple juice1 oz orange juice1/2 oz apricot brandy1 tsp sugar2 oz light rum1 oz dark rum1 oz lime juiceBlend all ingredients with ice except Bacardi 151 proof rum. Pour into a collins glass. Float Bacardi 151 proof rum on top. Garnish with a fruit slice, sprig of mint and a cherry.Let the Zombpocalipse begin!!!

  2. My advice is to not listen to the lectures.Zombie Golfer in Plaid Pants:Big Ass GlassCouple ice cubes – cold ones work betterFill big ass glass two thirds full with cheap ass rum. See why we wanted to start with a big ass glass? Now go to the cupboard and get a BIG ASS Glass, dump this stoopid measly thing in, NOW go ahead and fill to two thirds fullHere's the good part. Fill the glass up with some of that store-bought Arnold Palmer pre-blended petrochemical based lemonade/ice tea stuff. Enjoy.Repeat.Trust me on this – it is very close to the perfect blend of cheap, effective and not overly nasty. And no matter how many you have, they're still REALLY easy to make!

  3. hmpf. It's either this or figure out how to construct a UL-compliant rated enclosure around a kitchen hood duct. Seriously, which one would you choose?Actually, mebbe I SHOULD invade vs' unwelcome house invaders. I am already in an irritable mood.

  4. Advice Giver says I am "sucking down" the bottle. There seems to be an implication that that is bad thing.Tell AG you have Zombie Dispensation, and if there is disagreement, they shall find it necessary to take it up with my Enforcement Team, mikey and His Advisor, The Squirrel of Black.Unless, of course, they would prefer to delve into UL assembly ratings and shaftwall systems with me. Seriously, keep sharp items away from me.

  5. I was told there were good jokes here.Vis-a-vis mixed drinks, I will stick to the old standby, "Half Danska vodka, half akvavit of choice". Only downside is the big freezer you need to store the vodka & akvavit bottles [and fish], because they are best when consumed at dry-ice temperature.Coincidentally, I have just unpacked my luggage and it turns out to contain 1 litre of duty-free Danska and 2 half-litre bottles of akvavit.

  6. It's fucking official: Substance is my new Advice Giver. Btw, this afternoon I was ADVISED that I was talking too loudly to my baby. Well, excuse me for being fucking excited that he was smiling at me. I DONT CARE IF IT'S GAS!!!!!!

  7. See, Substance brings teh common sense, always.1. Cause landslide in Gin bottle mountain until drinks cabinet is exposed.2. Look in drinks cabinet.3. Find non empty Gin and pour into bigger-than-small-but smaller-than-big (Pratchett 2006)ass glass.4. Think of tonic water.5.Drain glass into stomach through orifice of choice.6. I know, too much tonic, it is a trap for young players but practise will overcome this.

  8. Dear Underwriters Laboratories.You don't know me. Think of me as just a dood. A dood with an interest in kitchen hood duct enclosures.Now, ratings are a funny thing. You can do endless testing, lighting structures on fire and pumping heat into hood ducts. Yeah, you know, the whole grease fire scenario. And that's fun. Hella fun. Put some easy off in the grease and everybody's dead. Um, yeah, that's not so much fun. Though, to be fair, it depends on who's in the audience.But here's the thing. This whole testing dealio can be a two edged sword. I need a certificate. You need your house to still be standing when you get home. See how these things lend themselves to a sort of quid pro quo? Look. This enclosure was designed by the best experts not alive today. And that's some rarefied air there, mi amigo. Me? I'm just, well, let's say I'm an interested observer. See, this thing's going to turn out the way I want it to – they always do. The outstanding question is, once again, around what we like to call 'collateral damage'. You know. Stuff like what, how much and who. Oh. Certificate's ready? Hey, nice stamp. On file and accessible by the insurance industry? Ok. Good. Thanks for your help…

  9. Sirius, I am most concerned that Tim Curry can no long rock the corset and stockings.That probably explains why he's all alone.And your drink sounds divine…but will it erase my brane?It will not erase your brane, but it will make you shamble slower than the zombies so that they can catch you and erase your brane.W/V-Happy Kwansf

  10. I would party with mikey…as long as he left the guns and machetes at home.As near as I can tell, or remember, there are no survivors present of that memorable "Drinking Sadly II – The Portlanding", also documented by your humble correspondent as "Teh Oregon Flapdoodle".If there were, however, they would be quick to tell you that much festivity was festivivated and the only thing we broke was Toby…

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