Quick and Dirty Gentleman Broncos: Or How Many Times Can I Use the Word "Fuck" in a Movie Review?

OK, so I’ve been meaning to do some movie reviews that are stingy with the words, but generous with that vacuumslayer sass you’ve all come to know and tolerate.

I’m starting with Gentleman Broncos.

Things you should know:

  • It’s made by those guys who made Napoleon Dynamite.
  • It stars Jemaine Clement (Who can do no wrong…at least in a comedic capacity. I don’t know if he’s good in the sack or calls his mother regularly or is a volunteer firefighter or any of that…)
  • It takes place in some backwater Utah town.
  • It’s about a teen dude who has lost his father– and obviously still misses him greatly–and dreams of becoming a science fiction writer. It is never said explicitly, but the main character in his stories is OBSV his father.)
  • He writes a novel. It is stolen by Jemaine Clement’s character at an instructional sci-fi writing conference.
  • The two versions–the original and stolen–are played out in asides throughout the film.

I don’t know about you all, but IMO, this sounds like a recipe for hilarity to me. And there are elements of the story that are terrifically clever. But it’s so goddamn weighed down with forced quirk, it just falls flat. (I am sitting on my hands in order not to make Gene Shallit-esque pun-jokes about the fact that yeast–yes, yeast–is a valuable commodity in the wondrous yet dystopian futures of these sci-fi worlds.)

I could live with the fact that modern-day Idaho resembled 1983 USA in Napoleon Dynamite. But they tried the same fucking thing in this film, and I’m sorry dudes, but I’m just not buying it. Listen. I’m a small-town girl from the South. And there’s no fucking way I’ve ever been as fashion-forward as the ladies who live on the coasts…but I managed to live my life not looking like a parody of what fashion trends looked like a decade and a half ago.

Also, all your quirk is SAD quirk. For crying out loud, the dystopian real world was far more frightening than the dystopian, fictional worlds you created. Perhaps that was your point, but there has to be–DON’T THINK OF YEAST!!!!–levity at some point in the story. Unless you want to be Alexander Payne* or Todd Solondz**. If you want to be those guys, you have a looooooooooong way to go. Do not try. Next time you have the chance to do something with material like this, cut down on the quirk and the “Ugly Americans” shtick those guys have mastered and just play this shit for laughs. Because if you had done that this time, this movie would have fucking ROCKED.

Also, Jemaine Clement was awesome and the movie’s only saving grace.

If you are looking for Jemaine Clement-related quirk, may I suggest the really cute, poignant and funny Eagle vs. Shark?

I was not stingy with the words. But damn I think you’re all smothered in sass in now. Aren’t you glad you hung in?

*Not including the unforgivable POS film, Sideways. Keep saying it’s great, sheeple.

** OMG, look at his IMDB pic. He’s a walking embodiment of his films! Not because I think he’s ugly. I don’t. He just looks very…sad.

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24 thoughts on “Quick and Dirty Gentleman Broncos: Or How Many Times Can I Use the Word "Fuck" in a Movie Review?

  1. Umm, I'm…Wow.This was a perfectly serviceable series of english language words, all of which were perfectly lucid and and understandable and yet, taken together, were something less than giberish to me. I don't know who any of these people are. I've never heard of any of the films described here. Well, I saw some commercials for "Napoleon Dynamite" but it just looked dumb to me. Now don't misunderstand. I'm not only socially retarded, I'm not much on movies, and only so-so on music. I'm ok on books, to some extent, but my preferences run more to 'The Road' than the 'Dragon Tatoo'. But speaking of movies, there's this one coming out called 'Cowboys and Aliens'. What an awesome concept. Of course, I saw the commercial and it looked like they totally missed the freakin point of their own movie, but it's hard to tell with trailers, right? I won't go see it, I don't do well in dark buildings full of strangers with unpredictable impulses, but I suspect at some point I'll download the torrent and skip through it. But I expect to be disappointed.Just as I was by the film treatment of 'The Road'. Or, for that matter, anything Cormac McCarthy ever did – 'No Country for Old Men' was actually a pretty good film, but only if you'd never read McCarthy and didn't realize what he was trying to say in the first place…

  2. Any movie wiv Jemaine innit must be good.It is wrong to judge on trailers but this was very reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite which drove me screaming from the room after 20 minutes.

  3. When I got to Ohio in December, 2005, the cool people downtown were dressing exactly like New Yorkers in the mid 90s.I was living there not too long before that. I think you may exaggerating just a teensy bit. 😉

  4. mikey, I enjoyed "No Country" but was a little thrown off by the ending. I imagine reading the book would have helped. I used to be a wee a bit of a cinephile, back in my Rotten Tomatoes days…so that's why I'm familiar with a lot of this stuff. I think "Cowboys and Aliens" looks like it might be fun, too.

  5. Sirius was quizzical; Studied pataphysicalScience in the home.Late nights all alone on the intertubes.Oh, oh, oh, oh.Vacuumslayer, a major playa,Blogs about movies."DRS need no improvement,Lu, ooh, na, cy!"But as he's getting ready to reply,A knock comes on the net.Bang! Bang! Slayer's silver banhammerCame down upon the thread.Clang! Clang! Slayer's silver banhammerMade sure he'd not be read.

  6. I think "Napoleon Dynamite," while being occasionally amusing lacked…substance. Cuz it was all about the quirk, instead of telling a good story. I agree Solondz is funny in a terrible/funny way.

  7. Didn't really did Napoleon Dynamite, besides the forced quirk (which didn't bug me in Repo Man, which certainly had it), I really didn't find any of the characters sympathetic.It is wrong to judge on trailers but this was very reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite which drove me screaming from the room after 20 minutes.Was it the throwaway scene in which he feeds ham to the alpaca which sent you packing? Sheesh, talk about trying way too hard.

  8. (I am sitting on my hands in order not to make Gene Shallit-esque pun-jokes about the fact that yeast–yes, yeast–is a valuable commodity in the wondrous yet dystopian futures of these sci-fi worlds.)Sheesh, everybody knows that yeast is not a valuable commodity in the wondrous yet dystopian future, it's an apocalyptic plague.

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