I’ve Nightmared of You

Proof that I spend way too much time hanging out at S,N and trolling my bloggin’ friends blogs? I have dreamt about two of you. Yes, you assholes have wormed your way into my subconscious. Would you like to read about my dreams? They’re incredibly boring erotic.

The first dream is about DK-W. Now you may think I’m a mother and DK-W is a mother lover…and you’ve done the  math. You’ve added 1+1 and you’ve gotten one sexy 2. But in reality 1+1 added up to -70 jillion. Because this dream was so dumb and short I’m not even sure it qualifies as a dream. Can one have short vignettes? ‘Cuz I think that’s what it was.

I dreamt DK-W left me a message on S,N. And in my dream, I rolled over in bed, picked up my iPhone and…wait for it...read it. HOT, amirite?

Now I know your screen’s probably fogged up right now, so you may want to read the next paragraph slowly…cuz, boy, is it a doozy, and I don’t want to over-stimulate you.

The next dream stars M. Bouffant. Anyway, in my dream, I went to the foyer. I stop right in front of the front door. There’s mail! A big manilla envelope sits, waiting to be opened. It’s from Mr. Bouffant! I…open it…seductively.  Inside the envelope is a collection of erotic poems. Nope. Actually it’s a list of lawyers he’s rated according to trustworthiness. I shit you not. He wants me to contact them in case my art “career” ever takes off. I believe there may be a “Call these guys, kiddo” or something like that in there.

The dog barks. I wake up. There is drool on the pillow. Sexy drool.

Now, here’s something really sexy:

Jon Benjamin Has a Van Weds 10:30/9:30c
Outtake – OCD After Dark
Comedy Central Funny TV Shows Roast of Charlie Sheen

I’m not doin’ RMF anymore. I’d always hoped for it to be more of an exchange of ideas about music, a conversation, instead of just links to songs that 90% of my readers rarely bothered to click on. That said, if you wanna link to a song, I won’t stop you. I just can’t guarantee I’ll comment on it.


22 thoughts on “I’ve Nightmared of You

  1. At least you are not imagining us in meat-space. Then, you should start worrying.And note that I'm always helpful.I won't mention any of the things/people I've dreamt about after immersing myself in them.Noirish novel beginning: The moon was low in the sky and on its way to setting early.The dog barks. I wake up. There is drool on the pillow.

  2. Musical P.S.: If there's anything I've learned from the Internet, it's that one's musical favorites are usually closely tied to one's pubescence. (A long one, in my case.) Not much room for discussion when you're stuck in your age cohort.OK, two things: Also no one's taste is more catholic or eclectic than mine, proving just how urbane & sophisticated I am.* And discussing that would get old. Really.*Or, I just don't care & will listen to anything, ironically or not.

  3. And note that I'm always helpful.The dream ended right as I was trying to make sense of the list and why you'd sent it, but I do remember thinking it was really nice of you!Not much room for discussion when you're stuck in your age cohort.I'm glad it wasnt that way for me. I thought I knew what i liked…but keeping my ears open allowed me to appreciate genres I never thought I'd think much of–such as metal and electronica.

  4. The day the music died.It doesn't have to die. Like I said, I just can't be counted on to listen/comment. I'd always made an effort before. Now, frankly, I can't be guaranteed I'll even have the time.

  5. Note to self: M.B. is not just a web guru, but also the go-to guy for attorney selection.True fact: He also tells me where to get my nails done and which wine to pair with each meal. Who knew that 7 Deadly Zins goes so great with Pop Tarts? That stuff goes down smooth at 7 in the morning.

  6. I have a thang for Mr.B as well. It's quite erotic and he only lives over the mountain from moi. ;-PWell, that's probably a more feasible situation. 😀 Besides I'm not sure that living 3000 miles away and dreaming about manila envelopes qualifies as erotic, though for the purposes of FUNNEH I like to pretend it does!

  7. Sirius, do you think there was a rule in the 60's that said that as long as you put "Electric" in front of a word–any word–you could have mighty fine band name? I'm pretty sure it was a rule. I'm going to try it out and everybody tell me if you think it sounds like it could be a band from the 60's:The Electric Sans-a-BeltsThe Electric PoofsThe Electric ElectricsThe Electric ElephantsThe Electric Meter MaidsThe Electric Waterslides

  8. Fuck the promoters who thought they should only get an hour long time slot. Public Enemy once played the Orpheum here. They did their thing (which was worth the money and long enough as such things go) but the end of the show was the management shutting down the power and turning the house lights up.

  9. From the youtube comments: i was four months old when this was made. great music is timeless. dont trust anyone who doesnt like the smiths.Comments like this annoy the fucking hell out of me. I was never much of a Smiths fan. They were always on the periphery of my music sphere…and I can understand why some folks might think them…whiny. Also, I was 11 when this song was performed, so…But hearing this with fresh ears…I'm finding it appealing.

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