Poetry Slam: The Sublime and the Ridiculous

Compare and contrast…

 Sublime: 

Another Kiwi honored me by writing this gorgeous poem, inspired by my piece, “Pretty Little Things.”

Pretty Little Things

Sublimely Ridiculous:

Dragon-King Wangchuck does what he does best: poetry, bitches!

The deficit feasts on the blood of our future,
And the wounds to the budget are difficult to suture.
The Nation’s treasure leaking out to welfare queens
Watching it makes me sick to my spleen.
And all these taxes, it dosn’t seem fair –
KEEP GUBMINT OUT OF MY MEDICARE!
Just Ridiculous:
I write the best Haiku ever.
“Stinkbutt”–click to embiggen

Asparagus–it
Makes your pee smell funny, but
It is so yummy!
Thoughts, critiques, poems?
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30 thoughts on “Poetry Slam: The Sublime and the Ridiculous

  1. I was going to write a parody of a well known poem and relate it to a recent Smogasbord post, but a little research found that someone had already written it. So, here's the poem I was gonna write before someone beat me to it.I Wandered Lonely As A Clown By Billy BirdbathI wandered lonely as a clownThat vaults on high for children's thrillsWhen all at once to please the crowdI grabbed my special daffodilsInside the heads beneath the flowersSquirts of shocking water showersContinuous as by designThe drops out from the flowers flewThey squirted in a never-ending lineTo land upon the crowd as dewTen children wide-eyed it wetsTossing their heads to miss the jets

  2. As I write this poem for youI find that poetry's hard to get doneAnd now I spend all my free time Just sitting and thinking of words that matchI know that one day I will get it rightThough at the moment I seem to be losing the battleAnd I will post a poem with emotional powerAbout a rose or daffodil or other such plantYour heart will be filled with love and joy And you will post a reply to say "atta way to go"

  3. Pomes are faggyThey make me all gaggyA manly manIs never a fan…Hey, why are all the girls going over to AK's place?No-talent bums such as myself just shake our heads in wonder.

  4. They said "write a poem for the vacuum slayer"But you can't just be a cheap purveyorOf sappy rhymes and choppy meterLike the dust that flies from the carpet beaterWhich brings us back to the vacuum cleanerDestroyed in anger, a misdemeanor?It's one thing to maintain a blogBut hating vacuums, like a dog?It makes one question her rationalityIf not her originalityWhat is it that makes this woman tick?What is her essential magic trick?Wow! Look at this! It's art, no doubtThough it shows disturbing signs of acting outI like this one, oooohhh, this one tooThough I question her hygiene – Hey! Try shampoo!Let's check out the pictures. Damn. She's hotShe wouldn't talk to me in a parking lotBut she cracks me up, and I like her artSo I guess I'm glad she lets me take part

  5. No-talent bums such as myself just shake our heads in wonder.I dunno. I think you do just fine without the poetry. You're cool and funny–poetry would just be gilding the lily.

  6. See that Mikey. You inspired vs to wash her hair more oftetn. So now when you ask her if she wants to go out Friday night and she says no, I'm busy, I have to wash my hair you'll know she's not just making that up.vs, your W/V must be cross-circuited with The Corner, I just got psycothe

  7. " I'm busy, I have to wash my hair you'll know she's not just making that up."That made me chuckle…but, in all seriousness, mikey, poems about my hotness are appreciated…and ENCOURAGED.

  8. Hey, why are all the girls going over to AK's place?"Where are the girls?" Whale Chowder cries.They dig hunky science guys.Ladies' panties, they do show 'em,When they read that Kiwi's poem.Because you couldn't write good odes,Your gal's gone to the Antipodes.

  9. I am flattered and delayed in responding as I am on teh road. Leaving my three and a half week old daughter home alone with her mom. I am an horrible person.Although in my defense, poetry, bitches isn't what I do best. What I do best is your mom.

  10. Haiku? Don't mind if I do.Long green spears thrustingInto her mouth tastes so gooooood.It's asparagus.Shafts with bulbous tipsMake eager orificesSmell a little off.Orifices andAsparagus are words thatHave four syllables.

  11. The Bald Bastard joked; and, having joked,Moved on: at my expense I saw, and choked, Envious of his skill with words and shit,I scratch my head. Then at my desk I sit,And write of Vacuumslayer's hair and skinSo fair. She charms us with posts full of win,And begs us to write odes to her,And puts up pictures of kittehs with Endor fur.

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