Is It Easter Where You Are?
If not, it may be because Aslan, the Jesus-Lion is being held captive by a crazy New Zealander. Everybody knows that Easter cannot happen until Aslan, the Jesus-Lion is free to frolic in fields of heavenly-scented marigolds and then poops out the sacred Peep. (Fun fact: if you Google “peep” and do not specify “marshmallow,” you probably won’t be surprised by some of the images that peep up.)
How do I know so much about Easter? Read about it in the bible. Which bible? The goodest one. My favorite part is the all the hot gay sex.
UPDATE: Aslan’s captor finds this!
I think it ties everything together nicely.
Slay the Green Dragon of Censorship!
I am blogrolling this dude out of spite. Not to spite him, but THE MAN. In solidarity, I’d also like my blog to attract the attention of robot censors. Right now, the most offensive thing about my little journal is the spelling and grammar. But that could turn on a dime! If you have any ideas how I can make this blog more offensive, let me know! And, no, I will not be featuring stills from Tribbles Gone Wild: Hot Cancun Nights, so you can put that idea right out of your pervy heads.
UPDATE: That guy’s blog is showing up in my blogroll as this: Blogger: Content Warning. Which is a pretty great blog name, I’ll grant you…but the fact that it won’t float and it won’t update the entry seems kinda shitty to me.
Baby Vampires Do Exist
I know. I was one.
|Toofs? I think not!|
|Can’t wait for my next fix!|
Now, this is no cause for panic. For most babies, vampirism is a passing phase. Besides, they are easily defeated with a robust shaking* or a distracting jingling of keys.