Don’t Go Away Mad

It may come as a shock to exactly 0 people that I only recently learned of the existence of man boobz, a humor blog that keeps tabs on the insane, incoherent, frothing-at-the-mouth ravings of Men’s Rights Activists. See, for a loooooooong time, my Intra-tubes/computer activity consisted almost solely of teaching myself how to use Photoshop, talkin’ movies at Rotten Tomatoes, listening to Air America, and lurking at The Great Orange Satan. I couldn’t even spare a moment for porn or LOLcats!!!!

I am taking my penis and going home!

 Well, wow, have I learned a lot since I began lurking at ‘boobz. For instance, I learned that most married men are deeply unhappy slaves to succubus-women who delight in sucking the souls–catlike*!–from their beaten-down he-victims. This fascinates me. Because MRA’s seem to place a premium on believing that men are just naturally stronger–both mentally and physically–than women. Now, you would think that if men were just inherently stronger and smarter than women, that they could, using their super-special strongy-smarty mensy powers, extricate themselves from these borderline abusive relationships. That they haven’t makes me think they may be huge pussies.

There’s probably a roughly 1000% chance of these stories of men being enslaved by armies of soul-suckers being 1 bajillion% false…but I feel in the interest of fairness and compassion, I should offer this advice to MRA’s everywhere: If you or someone you know is in a verbally or physically-abusive relationship, you should absolutely leave it immediately (if you or your friend can, and have the support system in place to do so safely). Now shut the fuck up and quit making shit up to support your misogynistic fantasies. If you’re unpopular with women, consider that it may just be because you are a horrible person who is unworthy of affection or respect.

Another thing I learned about that fascinates–and delights!–me is the Men Going Their Own Way movement. Apparently, 10’s of men are threatening to Go Galt on us wimmin!  Take their balls and go home, as it were. I cannot put into words how strongly I support this idea. See, right now you’re just muddying the waters for the 99% percent of men who are not psychotic misogynistic man-toddlers. By all means–GO! Go quickly! Go quietly! Simply talking about it will do no good. Just DO IT. That’ll totally show us. And when you’re gone, the rest of us men and women, the rest of us adults, can go back to the party and pretending like you never existed. Awww. That’s the part that bothers you, isn’t it? That you’ll Go Your Own Way and nobody will notice. Still, I say the manly thing to do is to put up or shut up. So don’t go away mad, darlings. Just go away.

*It is a well-established fact that if you don’t keep an eye on cats, they will sit on your chest and steal your breath while you sleep. LOOK IT UP, SHEEPLE!

UPDATE: I just have no words. This guy. Um. How old is he, anyway? He writes like a teenager who’s practiced auto-erotic asphyxiation too many times. Anyway, he’s a defense contractor who thinks taxes are MEAN. His entry and his commenters provide a lavish buffet of stupidity. Most of the comments consist of “JUST CUT______!” Oh jesus. There are a couple of commenters who’ve tried to let some oxygen into their stinky, smelling- of-kinky-sex-and-Hot-Pockets echo chamber, but they’re  outnumbered.

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15 thoughts on “Don’t Go Away Mad

  1. "Menism?" No kidding! Weeeeeeird. 99% non-man-toddlers is awfully generous, don't you think? Well, I may be damaging my reputation as a man-hating feminazi, but I really do believe the VAST majority of men are not like these freaks.

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