It would irresponsible not to speculate that T&U is a terrorist

BreakingI’ll beat FOX News to this story if I have fabricate every single bit of it!

Yesterday, T&U all but came out and announced that she’s a terrorist.  “Sekrit” identity? Mm hmm. “Sekrit” sounds Egyptian to me.  Egyptian probably means Muslim. And Muslim–OF COURSE–means terrorist.

Sekrit——–>Egyptian——–>Muslim——–>Terrorist

You may think I’m reaching here, but I spent lots of time with my magic chalkboard figuring this out.

Still not convinced? I have more information to share with you. Peep these FACTS, homies:

FACT: T&U works in a library. Faggy and socialist much? Access to American books and computers much?

FACT: T&U wears glasses. That might mean she’s smart. And if you watch any Cinemax After Dark, you’d know that you must ALWAYS suspect the bespectacled librarian of, well, let’s just say naughtiness.

FACT: T&U has a cat. Egyptians revere cats. BUSTED!!!


FACT: T&U’s cat is fat. She obviously reveres her cat a little too much. That is soooo terrorist-y.

IT. ALL. ADDS. UP. Wake up, sheeple. 

Also, Tasty Cakes chocolate cupcakes and helium balloons are other pieces of the puzzle, but I haven’t figured out how they fit…yet. When I do, you will read about it here first.

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27 thoughts on “It would irresponsible not to speculate that T&U is a terrorist

  1. I thought you were accusing *me* of being fat for a minute. I was actually more offended by this than the terrorist charge, to which I have No Comment.I'll just say…balloons are made of latex. You know what else is made of latex, right?

  2. I thought you were accusing *me* of being fat for a minute. I was actually more offended by this than the terrorist chargeI actually laughed out loud…'cuz I didn't know how crooked my arrow was…and I was like "Um, does T&U have triangular ears and prominent whiskers? OH SHIT!"

  3. First of all you're not fat, but I would NEVER NEVER NEVER in a million years go after another woman like that. I'd have no business calling myself feminist if I did. Besides, I find fat-phobia tiresome.

  4. I actually laughed out loud…'cuz I didn't know how crooked my arrow was…and I was like "Um, does T&U have triangular ears and prominent whiskers? OH SHIT!"yeah, you can totally tell that was done by a professional.PROFESSIONAL TERRORIST, THAT IS!!

  5. Tasty Cakes chocolate cupcakes and helium balloons are other pieces of the puzzle, but I haven't figured out how they fit…yet. When I do, you will read about it here first.Tasty Cake chumpcakes… They suck… they are impostors…El is guessing he'll read about it elsewhere first…

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