Breaking…I’ll beat FOX News to this story if I have fabricate every single bit of it!
Yesterday, T&U all but came out and announced that she’s a terrorist. “Sekrit” identity? Mm hmm. “Sekrit” sounds Egyptian to me. Egyptian probably means Muslim. And Muslim–OF COURSE–means terrorist.
Still not convinced? I have more information to share with you. Peep these FACTS, homies:
FACT: T&U works in a library. Faggy and socialist much? Access to American books and computers much?
FACT: T&U wears glasses. That might mean she’s smart. And if you watch any Cinemax After Dark, you’d know that you must ALWAYS suspect the bespectacled librarian of, well, let’s just say naughtiness.
FACT: T&U has a cat. Egyptians revere cats. BUSTED!!!
FACT: T&U’s cat is fat. She obviously reveres her cat a little too much. That is soooo terrorist-y.
IT. ALL. ADDS. UP. Wake up, sheeple.
Also, Tasty Cakes chocolate cupcakes and helium balloons are other pieces of the puzzle, but I haven’t figured out how they fit…yet. When I do, you will read about it here first.